Author: Michelle

Anxiety can be very debilitating leaving a person unable to function or do basic things for themselves. This article though is for anyone who is caring for someone with a disability, physical illness or an anxiety disorder, including Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

What is a carer?

You may not see yourself as a carer. If you are looking after someone with an anxiety disorder, or who is disabled or physically ill this may help you. It is important that you look after yourself and as a carer you have rights too.

Many people presume that because they are a member of a family , maybe a wife, husband or partner they may believe that is part of what they do. But as much as you love someone there may be days when you are anxious or stressed and you need support.

There are about 5.4 million carers in England who make it possible for people to have help at home. Sometimes we spend so much time being a carer that we can neglect our own needs. It is important you look after your own health and well-being.

Caring for someone else can often be demanding, and you are not alone if you feel overwhelmed at times. You might find some parts of life challenging and this may leave you feeling stressed and isolated.

There is help available in most communities, through your local health care and by using this support, it helps you feel more in control of your life and better able to cope with the ups and downs. Everyone may feel under pressure and suffer from anxiety or stress at times and please don’t underestimate the value of talking.

Sometimes people don’t wish to bother other family members or friends so don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and ring our Helpline on 0300 7729844 for a chat to help manage your anxiety or stress levels. We can also be there to listen and give you support.

These might be some of the things you do for someone.

• giving emotional support
• helping someone cook and do the cleaning
• budgeting and looking after the finances
• giving medication
• reading information and filling in forms for someone who has concentration difficulties

Anyone can become a carer, no matter what their age, gender or background is.

An Assessment

What is a carer’s assessment? A carer’s assessment is for adult carers of adults (over 18 years) who are disabled, ill, suffering from depression or an anxiety disorder or are elderly. It is an opportunity to discuss with the local council what support or services you need. The assessment will look at how caring affects your life, including for example, physical, mental and emotional needs, and whether you are able or willing to carry on caring or need support or help.

When the person you care for has a needs assessment, the assessor will usually come to their home and talk to them about how they manage everyday tasks. They will look at the person’s health and disabilities and what they can and can’t do and how they would like to be supported. If accepted the person will discuss a care plan with the person.

They will also consider whether the person’s needs are great enough to have a significant impact on their well being which will make them eligible for help with the council. If so they will have a financial assessment to check whether the council will fund some or all of the money to help. The person doing the assessment will talk about you as the carer and what your thoughts and feelings are.

Carers organisations provide valuable practical help, information and support. These are some of the things that they will have information on what you can do as a carer:

• They provide support groups or information programmes
• Advocacy (helping you get your voice heard)
• Respite and leisure opportunities
• Help you plan for emergencies as well as the future
• Small grants for you to take a break
• Help for emergencies and the future
• Advice and support if someone goes into hospital

If you are working, talk to your manager because carers have rights at work too. For financial help speak to your local carers to ensure you are receiving everything you are entitled to.

Looking after yourself

Do any of these questions apply to you?

• Are you getting enough sleep?
• Can you get out and do things by yourself?
• Are you eating well?
• Is your health being affected by caring?
• Can you cope with other family commitments?
• Is juggling work and caring difficult?
• Are you able to pursue your work or educational goals?
• Can you socialise and enjoy your hobbies in the way that you used to?

Social Services can help you find what is available in your area to help with your support and the person you care for. Services may be provided by Voluntary organisations, social services, health authorities or private agencies.

Care organisations can be enormously helpful, offering a variety of emotional and practical support. They will know what is available locally to support you and the person you care for to continue to take part in social activities or even take up something new. Keeping active and continuing with hobbies and friendships is not only enjoyable but good for your health.

Carers services are run by a variety of organisations and what they offer varies. They will all offer information, advice and guidance. They can help you to consider your own needs and inform you of your rights and entitlements as a carer.

They can help to relieve stress, improve health and promote well-being such as a gym membership, pamper session or having your hair or nails done. They can provide technology to support you such as a mobile phone or computer where it is not possible to access computer services from a local library. Give help with housework or gardening.

Mental Health or Anxiety Problems

If the person you care for has a mental health problem, you could have a look at Mind’s information booklets, either online or in print. You could also look at the Mental Health Foundation and Rethink websites. The Carers Trust and Carers UK have lots of information specifically for carers, and forums where you can exchange ideas with other carers. There is a lot of information about how to deal with anxiety and stress in our resources section.

If the person you care for does not want any help and support, you as a carer are still able to receive support, advice and information. Speak to your local carers service for more information about what is available in your local area.

If the person you care for needs more support, you may have concerns about the costs involved in getting care at home. As the carer you are not responsible for the cost of their care. If they have been assessed as needing care, they will also be assessed to see how much they can afford to pay towards the cost of services, while still having enough money to live on.

Your health

Caring can have a significant impact on both your physical and emotional health. It is easy to overlook your own health needs, but it is important for you to stay healthy. Tell your doctor that you are a carer and how this affects your ability to care for your own health.

They may be able to help by discussing ways to manage your health better if your caring responsibilities make it difficult for you to attend the Doctor’s surgery. It is so important to look after yourself properly. Make sure you are eating a healthy diet and keeping active and look after your emotional health. It’s easy to overlook your own health and not get enough rest and sleep.

It is not just about your physical health but also your emotional health. You might be struggling to manage or feel isolated or depressed. Try and talk to someone in the family or friends. Join a carers’ support group or there may be a group on line. Your doctor should know of local groups.

Support with other Carers

It can help to talk to other people who have faced similar situations. Even if their experience isn’t exactly the same as yours, finding common ground with other carers can make you feel less alone and isolated.

There are different ways that you can get in touch with others:

• Find a local carers group. You can find out what is available in your area by searching online, contacting NHS Choices’ Carers Direct, your local Mind, or Mind Information Line for details of groups in your area.
• Use an online forum for a discussion group for carers, for example, the Carers UK forum.
• Get in touch with a carers’ organisation or charity like Carers UK or Carers Trust.

Organisations that deal with specific conditions may also provide support for carers. For example, some local Minds provide support services to people who care for someone with a mental health problem.

Carer’s Organisations

Carers Direct – Government-run helpline for people living in or caring for someone in England. They can give you information to help you make decisions about your personal support needs, including information about assessments, benefits or work. They do not provide counselling or personal financial advice but they can direct you to local and national health specialists for further help.

Age UK – National charity providing information, advice and services to older people at both a national and local level. Website: www.ageuk.org.uk. Telephone: 0800 169 65 65

Carers Trust – We work to improve support, services and recognition for anyone living with the challenges of caring, unpaid, for a family member or friend who is ill, frail, disabled or has mental health or addiction problems. Website: www.carers.org. Telephone: 0844 800 4361

Carers UK – National charity that provides expert advice, information and support to carers, we connect carers so no-one has to care alone and we campaign with carers for lasting change. They can offer practical advice on filling in forms and can carry out benefit checks. Website: www.carersuk.org. Telephone: 0808 808 7777.

Cruse Bereavement Care – Offers information and counselling to people who have experienced the loss of someone close. Website: www.cruse.org.uk. Telephone: 0844 477 9400.

Mind – A mental health charity providing advice and support. Website: www.mind.org.uk. Telephone: 0300 123 3393.

NHS Choices – NHS website providing information and advice on NHS services, healthy living and a wide range of health conditions. Website: www.nhs.uk.

Revitalise – A UK wide charity providing short breaks and holidays (respite care) for disabled people and carers. Website: www.revitalise.org.uk. Telephone: 0303 303 0145.

Turn2us – A UK wide charity that helps people in financial hardship to gain access to welfare benefits, charitable grants and support services. Website: https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

Are you going to take part?

To help people become more educated about mental health, if we could speak to one person this week about how we feel and how anxiety can affect us, then we are all breaking the barriers down. Anxiety can affect anyone of us so it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Or maybe you can take that big step of picking up the phone and speaking to one of our helpliners about your anxiety, join a Recovery Group or our one-to-one Mentor Service to take your first steps to try to recover. Maybe you could set a small goal, nothing overwhelming. It helps if you have confidence in your breathing and use relaxation techniques. With practice they really do work and this means you are in control of your anxiety. When we achieve something, it doesn’t have to be something big, but it gives us a wonderful feeling that we can beat anxiety.

No Panic asked its Trustees and staff how they cope with stress for Stress Awareness Month. See their responses below:

Chris Scott

To cope with stress and anxiety I find just having a chat with my friend helps to take the seriousness out of it, also breathing exercises really help and listening to a relaxation tape helps calm me down. Walking my dog helps me to feel calmer and forget about feeling anxious and to tell myself life is for living.

Lynne Frederick

These are the things that help me.
I do find the relaxation and breathing help. I have to drink decaf coffee because I can feel edgy if I drink the ordinary coffee. Also I have to eat regularly as I can feel quite unwell if I miss regular meals.
Also walking my dog, who tends to walk quite quickly helps me feel much better
Also music and gardening. When I am doing something in the garden I am absorbed in what I am doing.
A good television programme that makes me laugh or just having a talk with someone.
I love music and reading or decorating are all things that you can focus on and not think about any worrying or stressful things helps.
Cooking because you need to be focused on what you are doing and it is relaxing.
Looking after grandchildren as it is quite hectic sometimes. We do a lot of drawing and making things.
Working and studying – I forget about the time.
Knitting or sewing.
I like driving and getting out helps a lot.
Shopping (but not food shopping)
If I can switch my thoughts onto something else I can feel my anxiety decrease.
Working on my computer or writing – letters or articles

Michelle D’Ambrosio

Spending time with pets.
Spending time working on hobbies.
Having pamper days.
Shopping on a quiet day.
Walking.
Socialising with friends and talking about it.
Watching a movie or reading a book.

Mark Rees

I find my stress relief in relaxing in front of the TV or on the computer. I also find working on coding, websites and spending time with my animals relaxing.

If you’d like to find out more about No Panic’s staff and trustees, please look at our who’s who page.

No Panic asked it’s patrons how they deal with stress for stress awareness month. See their responses below.

Professor Kevin Gournay

My number one strategy is physical exercise. I think that regular exercise is also the key to preventing stress building, because simply put, it burns off the physical arousal that underpins stress responses. I also use simple reflection on a daily basis; usually just before sleep. I simply reflect on the good things in my life; many of which like others, I tend to take for granted. When life throws up problems, I use my life experiences to contrast these problems with those experiences. I’ve had considerable experience of International Development work and seeing people suffer enormous deprivations and trauma; I try to contrast those experiences with the particular stressful problem I’m facing and usually find that my problem is, in the big scheme of things, not really important. One thing that I use often is the very technique I suggest to all those with anxiety disorders – slow diaphragmatic breathing – this genuinely reduces blood pressure; but also serves to enhance tranquillity. I don’t meditate (I get a meditative state when I run long distances; anything over 40 minutes) but I know from others that preparation for meditation requires slow breathing.

Professor Roz Shafran

My personal top tip for managing stress is to make sure there are at least some pleasurable activities in the day for oneself. It might be simple (such as checking a particular website or making a phone call) or something bigger like a trip to the theatre.

Jeremy Dyson

Meditation/Relaxation. If I feel the stress levels started to rise I make sure I make time for a daily mediation session – 10 mins minimum of counting breaths. I used to do a progressive relaxation exercise too – relaxing muscles from toes up to my head and back. Either of these has always helped me through a stressful time – even five minutes a day is beneficial.

Cut out caffeine. If I feel heart rate going – or feel uptight – i go to down to one or two cups of tea a day max – no coffee – and switch to chamomile tea/mint tea as my main beverage.

Relaxing soak in a bath – I like relaxing bubbles too – Radox will do – nothing fancy.

Sleep – make sure I’m getting enough – a few early nights always helps

Exercise – definitely a major help – perhaps the most important of all of these. 20-30 mins of cardio (I’m lucky to have steep hills near where I live so no gym required) – or 30-40 min swim. It helps promote physical tiredness and thus boosts a good night’s sleep too.

Eat well – cut out the unhealthy stuff I find helps. Up the fruit and veg.

Do what you love – some time doing whatever your most absorbing pastime is. I like playing music. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it absorbs you.

Talking it out – If I’m worrying about something in particular I find talking it through with a friend always helps.

Prayer – if you have a spiritual side – (and that doesn’t mean you have to be a follower of a particular religion) – a prayer to Higher Power/the Universe – whatever you want to call it – can be a powerful stress-reliever too.

Professor Anthony Sheehan

• Firstly, like many I find exercise helps me a lot. I like to run (very slowly;I’m not built for distance!) The feeling space that running creates really helps me. Worries like to occupy space and I find if I get outdoors I give those worries so much space that they seem to get diluted. I also like the rhythm of running and breathing…it’s a distraction from whatever is in my mind.
• Secondly I’ve gotten pretty good at reminding myself that I am allowed a ‘second thought’ If I approach a situation and my first thought is a worrying one I give myself a break and say in my own head “give yourself a second opinion” A second thought, if we permit it, is almost always less negative than the first. This helps when you are experiencing anger too.
• Finally, I believe in the power of love. To feel loved and to give love in return is so important to emotional wellbeing. If we can be in the company of love then we can talk about our feeling without fear and feel safe in the knowledge that ‘this too will pass’.

April is Stress Awareness Month, so we’re going to bring you a series of blogs about coping with stress.

What can you do for Stress Awareness Month?

• Talk about Stress and it’s effects
• Share your coping mechanisms
• Share openly where you can get help
• Be nice to those who are stressed and anxious
• Look after yourself.

The bottom point is the most important point, look after yourself when you are stressed or anxious. Make time to relax when you need to and learn to say no to requests that are too much for you.

There is no more panic
There is no more pain
New friends you will meet
There strength you will gain

You may talk about problems
Discuss all your woes
Celebrate your highs
And tell us your lows

We are not doctors
And we are not gods
But if talking can help
We can even the odds

So come to us here
If you need a new friend
Or some loving support
Your search is at end.

You don’t know me,
I’m a voice on the phone,
A number you chose to call,
To share your deepest fears.

You call from a place of safety,
Anonymous from your home,
A haven that’s a safe prison,
Where rituals and habits rule.

You cry out your despair,
Sob your sheer panic aloud;
You share your darkest secrets,
Your life story pours out.

Sometimes you vent your anger,
I am your target that day.
Venting your frustrations,
We somehow find another way.

You may ring to share fantasies,
The chance taken to thrill,
You’re redirected hastily,
As your needs I simply distill.

You ring me in loneliness,
Your solitude suffocating,
You’re one of my “regulars”,
Weeks pass with no one visiting;
You ruminate, building fears,
Reaching fever pitch alone,
Your worst case scenarios,
We breath/talk via the phone.

You’re individuals, each one,
Separate lives, different seasons.
Sometimes a loved one phones,
Unable to comprehend the reasons,
Their call as valuable as yours,
They try to understand, want to,
They feel frustrated, then guilt,
They call as they love you.

I listen to you all, each person,
Patiently, quietly, with empathy,
I focus on your words, between the lines, the unsaid deciphered silently.
I cherish your thank you’s,
I leave the line with a smile,
I helped you today,
You praised me,
I heard you relax, laugh even,
It wasn’t easy, but thank you!

For the sake of ones’ mental health
You need to learn to love yourself.
To resolve and reform your life
Assert a will upon your psych,
We all of us have our flaws
I know mine – what’s yours.

Love yourself, really please do,
Else, don’t expect others to.
Be yourself – you are unique
Love yourself – you’re not a freak.
Maybe you’re gentle, perhaps a loner
Trust yourself, don’t need another persona.

Life can be very curious,
Doesn’t have to be so serious.
Ignore the dark corners of your mind,
Leave those worried thoughts behind.
Alienate the negatives,
Accentuate the positives.

Accept you have frailties,
Move on with a life of ease.
Get ready to make a start,
Find a peace in your heart.
Your life can be what you want it,
With new found verve and inner spirit.

No one really expects perfection
Dignity and pride, just to mention
So be honest, bold and true,
Perceive what will nurture you,
Because of this you will find,
A well-being in heart and mind.

Discard anxiety with a virtue,
Denounce the devil that’s inside you,
Cherish a faith, credence to save,
With honour you will be brave.
Forging willpower to survive,
It’s just great to be alive!