Anxiety Support Chat will be open on Monday evenings between 8:00-9:00 to support you through the summer.
If you’re a teacher or a university student, you may be worried about how you’ll manage your anxiety on days when you are less active than during term-time. Our community of No Panic members can help you plan your summer holiday. Even if you don’t manage to fill every day, Anxiety Support Chat may inspire you with ideas for filling some of the days.
Are you going on holiday this summer? Anxiety can cause excitement to be replaced with anticipation. Anxiety Support Chat will provide you with some tips for managing anticipatory anxiety so you can go on holiday in a better state of mind.
If you’re one of our more regular users in Group A, there is good news for you too. You’ll be able to join Anxiety Support Chat from the start on the first and last Mondays of August. Usually, Group A joins 10 minutes in, so there is more space at the start for our newer members.
No matter what you’re anxious about this summer, come to Anxiety Support Chat to talk about it with No Panic members. Don’t suffer alone, when there are members of No Panic waiting to support you. More information about how to join Anxiety Support Chat can be found here.
Anxiety is a sense of worry, fear, or unease that may be accompanied by physical symptoms, including trembling, perspiration, and an accelerated heartbeat. anxiety can help us prepare and react effectively and is a common and acceptable reaction to stressful or potentially harmful situations. Nonetheless, anxiety may be categorised as an anxiety disorder when it becomes excessive, chronic, and interferes with daily functioning. It is essential to remember that anxiety is a complicated condition with various causes and that not everyone will react to the same triggers with worry. If you’re exhibiting signs of anxiety, it’s advisable to speak with a mental health expert.
What triggers Anxiety
Anxiety can be brought on by several things, such as:
● Stressful life events: Significant life changes, such as the death of a loved one, relocating, beginning a new job, or ending a relationship, can cause Anxiety.
● Genetics: Anxiety disorders may have a biological component because they may run in families.
● Environmental factors: Living in an unstable or unsafe environment, as well as being exposed to trauma, violence, or abuse, can cause Anxiety.
● Medical conditions: Anxiety can be brought on by a variety of diseases, including heart illness, thyroid problems, and chronic pain.
● Abuse of drugs, alcohol, and prescription medications is another factor that can contribute to or exacerbate Anxiety.
● Caffeine and other stimulants: Excessive caffeine or other stimulant use can worsen feelings of Anxiety.
● Lack of sleep: Anxiety symptoms can be brought on by sleep deprivation.
It is crucial to remember that Anxiety is a complicated condition with a variety of causes and that not everyone will react to the same triggers with worry. If you’re exhibiting signs of Anxiety, it’s advisable to speak with a mental health expert.
Anxiety in the Digital Age
Many people experience anxiety on a regular basis. As technology and digital communication have advanced, it has become simpler for us to stay connected and be exposed to new sources of stress. However, in the digital age, there are several strategies to manage anxiety:
● Reduce your screen time: Too much time spent in front of a screen can be stressful and increase anxiety. Take a moment each day to disconnect from technology and engage in relaxing activities like reading a book, taking a walk, or practising meditation in an effort to reduce the amount of time you spend in front of a screen.
● Make an effort to be mindful: Mindfulness is a method that calls for being attentive and present at the moment. By enabling you to let go of fears about the future or regrets about the past, it can help lower anxiety. You can get help with mindfulness exercises from a variety of apps and online tools.
● Make sleep a priority because it can increase tension and anxiety. Prioritise your sleep by developing a regular sleep schedule and reducing your screen time before bed.
● Connect with others: Dealing with anxiety requires social support, which is crucial. Making time for in-person contact with friends and family is equally as vital as using digital communication to remain in touch.
● Get professional help: If your anxiety is affecting your daily life, it’s crucial that you do so. Nowadays, a lot of therapists provide online counselling sessions, which might be a practical choice for people who would rather forgo in-person consultations.
In the digital age, it’s critical to maintain your mental health. You can enhance your general well-being and benefit from technology without feeling overburdened by trying to manage your anxiety. Anxiety is all over the place; when I am highly stressed or nervous, I tend to get panic attacks and to calm myself down, I try to reach out to my family or friends because it distracts me. It makes me forget about what is happening to me at that moment. You can find other experiences of anxiety on Medical News Today where you can find people talking about it and how some calming techniques help them.
If you would like to find out more about this, there is a great UK-based nonprofit organisation called No Panic that provides help and knowledge to those who have panic attacks, anxiety, phobias, and other similar conditions. The helpline, operated by trained volunteers with a firsthand understanding of anxiety disorders, is one of the services offered by No Panic. Seven days a week, the helpline provides people who are having anxiety problems confidential support and guidance. Moreover, No Panic offers self-help tools, online support groups, and other goods and service recommendations.
In conclusion, anxiety is a typical human emotion that a variety of circumstances can bring on. Yet, anxiety can become an anxiety disorder that requires treatment when it becomes extreme or begins interfering with daily life. Therefore, setting limits, using relaxation techniques, getting professional treatment if necessary, and leading a healthy lifestyle are crucial aspects of dealing with anxiety in the digital age. In addition, anxiety can be actively managed, which can help to lessen symptoms and enhance general well-being.
Everybody experiences feeling anxious in their lives as it is a natural human response to feeling threatened. Whether that’s feeling nervous before a big test or publicly speaking, it is a momentary uneasy feeling that dissipates the moment the threat is over. For a person who has an anxiety disorder, this is not the case. They may not have a specific trigger that they can identify and move past, but their experience of anxiety is a constant process which can prevent them from handling the stresses of day-to-day life.
Growing up, I loved musical theatre and when I turned 9, I decided to take part in real stage productions. Although I have two left feet, singing and acting always gave me so much joy. But 1 in 4 people experience a mental health problem every year and when I turned 14 the symptoms of anxiety had begun for me. I was preparing for another show backstage when I felt a tightness in my chest, an overwhelming feeling of sickness and found it difficult to breathe. This was the first of many panic attacks throughout my young adult life.
– Focus on your senses. What can you feel? What can you smell? This allows you to reconnect with your body and blocks out any unhelpful surroundings.
– It is important to be open and honest about your experience of panic attacks with someone you trust.
– Try to locate what it was that triggered your panic attack and instead of avoiding this situation in future, approach it with support. For example, if you have social anxiety and have experienced a panic attack at a party, do not stop yourself from ever going to another party as this will feed your anxiety. Instead go with someone you trust and who knows how to support you through these moments of panic.
Social Anxiety is an overwhelming fear of social environments; however, this doesn’t necessarily mean you are not a social person. I had plenty of friends and went to plenty of events with them, but I could never match their care-free attitude. I couldn’t understand how they were able to feel so sure in themselves and confident in their actions, meanwhile I was worrying constantly that I was being judged. So, when I moved to a new city on my own without the support of my friends and family back home, I was terrified.
Being Social with Social Anxiety
I am not a quiet person. In fact, many people have been surprised to learn I have a diagnosis of anxiety. The reason I say this is I think it’s important to understand there are many ways in which anxiety can present itself and there is not just one type of person it affects. Even famous names such as Ellie Goulding, Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik have come forward to share their experiences of anxiety and panic attacks. Just because someone presents themselves as a charismatic, confident person it does not necessarily mean they are not fighting a battle within.
I used to be the child who would get up and play the lead in front of the school. The child who would start up a conversation with a stranger on the plane. Always reminded of stories of how confident I was when I was younger, I longed to have that feeling back. Unfortunately, and I am sure this is the case for many people, the events of the global pandemic really set me back in my progress battling social anxiety. Due to the circumstances, I ended up living on my own for a total of 150 days. Living my own personal Groundhog Day with no social interaction, I began to feel anxious that this solitude would end, and I would enter back into social situations worse than ever before. I wasn’t completely wrong, but I decided I didn’t want to let my anxiety control me anymore.
There are many ways to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, but this can be extremely scary, so it is important to think to yourself; What is the worst thing that can happen?
As someone with anxiety, we usually catastrophize the situation and are stuck with a constant voice in our head telling us all the things that will go wrong. However, do these disasters usually happen? No.
Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone
For me, I decided the way to overcome my anxiety was to travel around Europe and stay in hostels where I had no choice but to immerse myself into new social situations. Everywhere I went I was surrounded by so many people, and I began to take comfort in how big the world really is. There are 8 billion people on this planet who all have their own lives to focus on, so why do I care so much about what other people think of me and let this affect my mental and physical wellbeing when I am only a tiny part of the population. Now, I’m not saying this was the cure to all my troubles, but it allowed me to be this genuinely self-assured, worry-free version of myself and I even found the confidence to sing again.
Although I understand travel is not a possibility for everyone, the principle still applies. It was not the action of travelling that helped improve my self-confidence, but by meeting a variety of new people from all different walks of life. This can be achieved anywhere around the world by pushing ourselves to do things we have always wanted to do but have allowed our anxiety to stop us from doing. It will always be uncomfortable at first but by riding through the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety, and meeting like-minded and accepting people, the fear will become less significant the next time you try something new.
There are many symptoms of anxiety that you may not realise, they may even be everyday factors that you simply pass off as usual behaviours. These include sleeplessness, irritability, specific phobias, trouble concentrating, over sweating or feeling excessively tired. For some, their symptoms take full control over their lives and can be incredibly intense, while others may only experience anxiety occasionally over certain situations such as starting a new job, meeting new people, being in large groups, or being in an unfamiliar position.
Further anxiety symptoms:
● Being unable to relax
● Panic attacks
● Digestive issues
● Under or overeating
● Sleeping too much
● Increased heart rate
● Racing heart
● Nausea
Anxiety can cause people to act according to their intense feelings, meaning they may cancel plans, withdraw from situations, prefer being alone or be hesitant to explore new activities. However, since this is a mental health issue in comparison to physical health, it is often not taken as seriously, as there is no way to visually understand one’s mental state. This is why it is so important to speak out about anxiety, to make those around you aware of how you are feeling/how something makes you feel, therefore support can be offered to help ease some of these symptoms.
Tips for speaking out about anxiety:
● Plan out what you want to say – this can decrease nerves and anxiety about opening up
● Ask for what you need – this will let others understand how they can be of help
● You don’t have to mention the word anxiety – as long as you can describe how you feel
How common is it?
1 in 6 people report experiencing a mental health problem like anxiety in any given week, with mixed and generalised anxiety being the most common. There are many shared factors that trigger anxiety upon different age groups. For example, those age 60+ experience more physical illnesses, causing heightened anxiety, those 30+ often juggle childcare, work, and further life expenses such as mortgages, causing stress, panic and anxiety, and those 18+ are experiencing many new elements of life, such as relationships, new jobs/careers along with pressure to succeed in higher education, also producing anxieties. We also can’t forget those of any age that have undergone a level of trauma which can be triggered and raise anxiety at any time throughout their lives, including childhood.
How can I help my anxiety? The 333 Rule
There are many ways to manage and ease symptoms of anxiety such as ensuring good sleep, staying active, or journaling, as well as cutting out bad habits such as smoking, drinking or using recreational drugs, but the 333 rule is a method of managing anxiety in the moment, during an anxiety or panic attack, or when you feel you need help right away. Here is an explanation of the 333 rule.
The 333 rule works by shifting your focus to your surroundings. During heightened anxiety look at what is around you in that moment. Name three things out loud or in your head that you can physically see, this can be anything from an aeroplane in the sky to a mirror on the wall. Once you have found and named these three objects, scan your environment by what you can hear, again name three things you can this time hear, this could be the ambiance of people talking, birds chirping or the TV. Lastly, once you’ve completed these two tasks, begin to engage your sense of touch by choosing three body parts that move, or feel around for three different textures you can feel at that moment in time, such as a cotton fleece, or denim jeans, whilst moving your fingers or wiggling your toes. These three short tasks will help ground you and generate distraction from racing thoughts/anxiety within 5 minutes. Although there is no formal research on this method, many have found it to be an extremely helpful way to manage anxiety in the moment.
How you can help those around you
● Encourage those experiencing attacks to breathe deeply and slowly
● Let them know you are aware how they are feeling
● Help shift their focus to their surroundings, offering a distraction
● If it’s okay to do so – offer physical touch, (e.g rubbing a shoulder) can help distract
● Learn the person’s anxiety symptoms – you’ll be able to help sense early symptoms
● Encourage talking to a GP – there is no shame talking to a professional about mental health
CW: The following article includes descriptions of intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive or Impulsive?
“My intrusive thoughts won” is a very common phrase on social media, especially on TikTok.
Popular creators and one-hit wonders alike have entire videos about so-called “intrusive thoughts”, that range from cutting their hair at 3am to touching hot plates they know they shouldn’t.
These are impulsive thoughts. While they do sound similar, there are very clear differences: impulsive thoughts are ideas that appear in a person’s head as intense and strong urges to act in ways that are considered taboo. People may feel shocked or amused by these thoughts, and they may even act on them.
These are not graphic scenarios of things a person doesn’t want to happen, and they are not repetitive thoughts around your loved ones plotting against you or that something is going to happen to them with no evidence.
These kinds of thoughts can leave a person feeling distressed and anxiety-ridden for hours or even days at a time. I have personally struggled with them for most of my life, and I feel that they are not spoken about enough.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
As mentioned, intrusive thoughts are different as they are always unwanted. The subject matter varies, but they are unwanted, repetitive thoughts that can appear in our heads without warning and can cause severe distress.
The key aspects of these thoughts are the repetitiveness of them and the fact that they do not align with the person’s real thoughts and feelings. This is the main ingredient, and it causes people to feel guilt or excessive introspection, as if trying to decide if they really feel those things.
The obsessive and compulsive nature of these thoughts are a core part of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), so much so that they give it their name.
They can also be part of General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They may also happen in response to hormone changes, for instance after a person gives birth.
Categories of Intrusive Thoughts
Not all intrusive thoughts are made the same way. There are as many different stressors as there are people in the world, but generally they are split into 5 categories:
Health Thoughts of worry about themselves or loved ones getting sick or dying with no evidence.
Religion Thoughts about trauma related to religion, or if you are a believer, you may find yourself thinking about disrespecting your own place of worship.
Sex/Sexuality Some of the most confusing and debilitating, these can be memories of unwanted sexual contact or confusing thoughts about your own sexuality.
Aggression Alongside the sexual intrusive thoughts, these are the ones that are the scariest. They may include feelings of hurting your loved ones even when you have no desire to.
Social Taboos I find these to be the most confusing ones, and they are the most impulsive thoughts. Often things like starting to shout obscenities in public or pour a drink on someone for no real reason.
I have had a combination of all of them at least a few times, and I find that besides the thought itself, even thinking about telling anyone is the worst part of it. The anxiety of potentially being told to just shake them off is often too much to bear.
A lot of people have these thoughts and can shrug them off. However, if they are so repetitive, they interrupt your day to day life, as is often the case in my own experience, you should know that specific help does exist. So, what can be done?
Coping with Intrusive Thoughts
This is some advice I have gathered from living with them for some time and having a solid support system around me. Some are more anecdotal and some are suggested in blogs, feel free to take what works and forget what doesn’t!
Firstly, don’t not suppress the thought. It’s easy to act like the thought wasn’t there in the first place out of fear for what it means for you as a person. Have a glass of water and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, especially not those that you find distressing.
Secondly, it’s important to distinguish between thought and reality. A little reality check can be very useful in the second part of reacting to an intrusive thought. This can be through calling a friend and asking them to reassure you about things, petting your dog, drawing a small doodle on some paper.
Finally, think about the situation(s) that triggered the thought. Is it what someone said in a conversation? Did you read something online? Is it something you can control or is it something you have to take a step back from? Asking yourself these questions can help to ground you even more by taking steps to be back in the moment.
I still have intrusive thoughts some of the time, but I can deal with them a lot better thanks to these tips in grounding myself, and I hope you will find them helpful too.
If these steps aren’t helpful, talking it out in therapy is an excellent way to find constructive ways to deal with these thoughts. They might recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or medication. It’s a scary step, but one that will help in the long run.
In conclusion, intrusive thoughts are repetitive, unwanted thoughts that are distressing, and are a core feature of OCD among other anxiety disorders. They can range in categories that include aggression, health and unwanted sexual memories or thoughts. Some ways to cope include grounding yourself in the present moment and potentially talking to a therapist. I hope this article has helped those of you struggling, you are not alone, and you are not your thoughts.
Panic attacks are when you feel a sudden urge of fear and intense anxiety. They come along with physical effects such as:
– Racing heart
– Sweating
– Chest tightness/pain
– Tingling and numbness across body
– Difficulty breathing
– Nausea
– Dizziness
When experiencing your first panic attack, it can be very confusing and scary; that’s why it’s important to know and understand the symptoms. Learning to deal with panic attacks is a good way to control them better and to try and shorten the amount of time they can go on for (the average time is 5-30 minutes). Here are some ways to try and calm panic attacks:
– Recognise you are having one
– Breathing exercises
– Look around and find 5 things you can see, and 5 things you can feel
– Be around a loved one
– Get some fresh air
– Putting wrists in cold water can reduce the anxiety you are feeling
If you are experiencing panic attacks on a regular basis, it would be best to see a GP to look at treatment, such as therapy or certain medications. Lifestyle choices can massively affect anxiety and panic attacks, therefore improving the way you live your life can soothe panic. This can be done by eating regular meals, getting enough exercise, seeing family and friends, limiting your caffeine intake and overall trying to be healthier.
Many people mistake their panic attack for something a lot more serious such as a heart attack, due to some of the symptoms being similar such as an increased heart rate and chest pains. Once the idea of having a heart attack is in someone’s head, this increases their anxiety even more, making the panic attack symptoms worsen and lengthen the time. It is not uncommon for someone to take themselves to A&E or ring an ambulance when experiencing a panic attack, as they think they are in extreme danger; this is how scary they can be.
Panic Disorder and Anxiety
Panic disorder is when someone has recurring panic attacks, usually for no reason. They also have feelings of anxiety and panic regularly when they do not usually have a reason to be anxious, which can be distressing. Seeing a GP is the best option when experiencing these feelings, where they may also carry out physical examinations to ensure to rule out any other possible conditions which are causing symptoms. You may be diagnosed with panic disorder if you have unexpected panic attacks that continue for over a month. Treatment for panic disorder are therapy and medication.
Anxiety can be a completely normal response to certain situations, such as public speaking or a job interview. However, it can become a problem when feelings of anxiety start to affect everyday life which can massively affect someone’s quality of life. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health issues among the world, with it having mental and physical symptoms for the disorder. Talking to a GP and getting the correct diagnosis is the best way forward when dealing with anxiety, which can then lead to getting the right medication or treatment.
What is the Difference between a Panic Attack and an Anxiety Attack?
Although both cause a fast heart rate, harder breathing and distress, they do differ in severity and the cause. Panic attacks are a lot more intense and can be without any trigger, whereas on the other hand anxiety attacks are a response to a threat to a perceived threat. Both are just as horrible as one another and should be taken seriously, therefore if you are experiencing any symptoms you should look for help.
Meet my brother, Callum. Callum is 25 years old, he owns his own web accessibility consultancy business and has written a book. He is also autistic and has dealt with anxiety, depression, and the highs and lows of his condition for most of his life. eighteen-year-old Callum would have never believed the position that he is in now. Life has not been easy for him, however, with his strength and determination, he has managed to conquer the anxieties that once held him back. This article will reveal how Callum overcame his struggles and how you can do the same!
Definitions
Firstly, it is essential to delve into some critical definitions that will be mentioned throughout the article. One important definition is autism.
According to the National Autistic Society, autism is a lifelong developmental disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world. Autism is a spectrum condition that affects people in different ways. Some difficulties that autistic people may share are social communication and social interaction challenges, repetitive and restrictive behaviour, over-or under-sensitivity to light, sound, taste or touch, highly focused interests or hobbies, extreme anxiety, meltdowns, and shutdowns. Like all people, all autistic people are different and have their individual strengths and challenges.
Statistics for anxiety range from 6 in 100 people being diagnosed with anxiety in the UK and over 8 million people experiencing an anxiety disorder at any time.
These statistics show that having anxiety is not a rare phenomenon and that millions of people will suffer every day because of the worrying thoughts that take over their lives.
Callum’s story
Callum recalls that he was told by our nan that he worries too much. As an individual not from my nan’s generation, this may sound very shallow and outdated, however, it was enough for Callum to gather the determination to get rid of excessive amounts of worry and anxiety. Because of this minor yet impactful statement from our nan, Callum has immersed himself on a self-development journey for years. Some things have worked, and others haven’t, however, the ups and downs have turned into growth for Callum. This is important because this is what life is about – the ups and downs, setbacks and achievements, making us stronger as people.
Below are several ways in which Callum struggled and found himself in a state of anxiety and how he overcame this and learnt to deal with the emotion.
When Callum began working after he completed university, he felt anxious every day. Callum recalled that he felt massive pressure from people to reply to queries and emails immediately. He found it particularly hard to do this because his autism means he has slower processing and can’t get to grips with what people are asking of him straight away. As a result, all the words would jumble up on the screen and he would send himself into a state of anxiety. The change he made to conquer something affecting his daily life was to take his time to reply to people consciously. He sat back, took a deep breath, and thought about what his following actions would be. By allowing himself to take the time to reply to people, he would formulate answers to the emails between tasks that he was working on. Callum saw that this eliminated the pressure he had previously felt. Whether you are autistic or not and find yourself in a similar situation to Callum by feeling enormous amounts of pressure from people to get something done in your work life, it is vital to put your needs and mental health first. The people pressuring you may have to wait an extra hour or two, but if you can do the job to your full potential in this extra time, then it will benefit all involved.
Callum had anxiety about his social life, which I’m sure is something we all can relate to. Being autistic, Callum found it challenging to process what people were saying to him and read the emotions on their faces or their body language. He also had anxiety about how other people perceived him – he tried to change his voice, so it sounded deeper and was perceived as more masculine. He tried to change his posture to look taller and more confident. However, he realised this made him more awkward than before!
Callum discovered that by going through this experience, he should leave it up to other people to decide whether they wanted to be friends with him or not. He accepted that he didn’t have to change anything to get people to like him. Ultimately, getting people to like you is out of your control. Let people think what they want to believe, and the right people will gravitate towards you. These people are often your true friends, which is worth more than trying to get everyone to like you. Callum developed this mindset by teaching himself to have an open mind, which got rid of much of his anxiety.
Anxiety is often overwhelming, even just to think about. This is why it can be helpful to break it down into stages to better understand ways to combat each type. There are various simple tips and tricks that anyone can incorporate into their life when it comes to management, spotting the signs and working through the peak of anxiety and panic attacks.
We are all unique individuals with different minds and this naturally requires different solutions. However, as someone who has experienced anxiety and panic attacks for ten years, I have been able to speak to other anxiety sufferers and professionals along the way, as well as discovering for myself which techniques can really help to make a difference for me and might work just as well for you…
Managing anxiety
As humans, our minds and emotions are complex and can often be difficult to navigate. That is why speaking to someone about how we feel is so beneficial when it comes to gaining clarity and most importantly support. The person you choose to speak to might not have a medical or psychological degree; they might just be a friend, a neighbour or a family member. Despite not needing qualifications, it is important that they meet the one requirement of being there to listen to you and to help you to feel supported. If you feel like you need that person to speak to, please do not hesitate to contact No Panic here, who want to help and support you.
Balance and routine can also improve your mental wellbeing by providing you with stability and that sense of security. Have you ever heard that physical exercise could help your mental health? Numerous times, if I were to take a guess. The reality is that there does lie truth behind this statement. This does not mean that you need to go out tomorrow and invest in new trainers or start the day with a nice and early 10k run. Exercise looks different for everyone, so even just a 5-10 minute stroll can help you by providing you with a change of environment which in turn can help to clear your headspace.
Spotting the signs of anxiety
Sometimes anxiety manifests in psychological or even physical symptoms. These signs can sometimes be the beginnings of a panic attack or an episode of heightened anxiety. That is why it can be worthwhile taking the time to consider how anxiety presents itself for you, so that you are able to recognise the signs. For me personally, one of the initial tell-tale signs I experience is that I struggle to breathe. Now you may immediately put ‘struggling to breath’ and ‘anxiety’ together and come to the logical conclusion that breathing exercises would be the answer. However, despite breathing exercises working great for some, as an asthmatic, I have found that placing focus on my breathing to be problematic.
One exercise that I have found that works effectively for me, is grounding. All it entails is some mindfulness, through the idea of you making yourself aware of your surroundings and finding focal points. Reminding yourself that you are in a safe place and taking note of the different textures, colours, patterns and even smells around you, can help to relax your mind when you feel a wave of panic beginning. Instead of feeling as if the world is collapsing,, by doing this you can help your brain to realise that this is not the case.
Another useful technique is a relaxation exercise, which involves you clenching then relaxing each part of your body to relieve tension. Lying down or sitting with your back straight and feet on the floor, you begin by clenching and relaxing your toes and then moving up your entire body. This gives your mind something to focus on whilst providing relief to help relax your body.
Working through anxiety and panic
An episode of extreme anxiety or a panic attack can often create even more anxiety and panic. That is why it is so important to experiment with different methods to discover what works best for you. When I am having a panic attack, I have found that the worst thing I can do for myself is to stay sitting or lying down. By getting up and pacing through the attack, I can regulate my breathing and not get stuck in the peak of my anxiety.
There are lots of really useful techniques out there that can help you to manage and control anxiety and panic. As someone who was adamant that none of them would work for me and that I could not be helped, I can now say with certainty that there are steps all of us can take to help ourselves. It is just about learning to understand your own body’s response to anxiety and finding the right methods that work best for you.
The most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself. Life is already full of external pressures, worries and anxieties. So being a friend to yourself by treating yourself with kindness and taking the time to discover what can help you can be a journey, but one undoubtedly worth taking.
Anxiety and I have been close friends since childhood. She was the type of friend who would always be there for me. She would constantly be squeezing my chest, buzzing in my ear, or laying in the pit of my stomach. As I said, she was always there. However, the older I got, the more I realised just how much of a hold anxiety had over me, and I started to question whether our relationship was as healthy as I always thought it was.
Growing up, the type of anxiety I experienced most often was social anxiety, often accompanied by her overachieving cousin, performance anxiety. I chalked this up as the reason for my lack of participation during my education. I was in constant anticipation of an unexpected call from the teacher, a nasty comment from the nearest bully, or the expectation to ‘do your best’ on the next piece of homework.
I would always take the phrase ‘do your best’ very literally growing up. To the point where, if I had not tried my absolute hardest to achieve excellence, I would feel like I had failed. I carried this perfectionistic mindset into adulthood, and I struggle to let go of it even now.
“My best was never achievable because I always felt like I could do better… If I missed a question on a test, well maybe I didn’t study hard enough. Maybe I did not truly do my best. I could have done better.”
My present
This mentality haunted me during my university years. The overwhelming feeling of guilt I would experience when I did not reach the grade I wanted, when a project did not turn out the way I had envisioned, or when I walked away from a new social situation I was determined to participate in. I would put in so much effort and energy, but if things did not turn out the best possible way, I would convince myself I had failed.
It did not take long for this approach to burn me out. The crushing stress and anxiety it had given me, dissolved any passion I had left for my work.
I remember my graduation day, walking across the stage and receiving my certificate. I remember returning to my seat, looking down at this piece of paper, and thinking, “is this it? All the effort, anxiety, and tears were for this £28,500 worth of paper?” At that moment, I genuinely could not understand why I had put myself through it, I could not see the worth of the experience, but I realise now, I was looking at it all wrong.
I recently came across a self-help book entitled You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell. The book is promoted as a practical mental health guide, focusing on the basic understanding of mental health. One quote in particular stood out to me as it changed my entire perspective of my university experience.
“Measure yourself by your effort, not your achievements.”
Upon reading this, I realised I had been comparing the effort I had put into obtaining my degree and the achievement of receiving the degree itself. I was expecting the two to feel like equals which is simply not the case.
While everyone else was congratulating me on obtaining my degree, I felt as if it should have meant more to me than it did. Everyone else did not experience the years of struggle like I did, the sleepless nights, or the panic attack like I did. They only saw the achievement.
There are many smaller achievements I would not have gained if I did not put such a significant amount of effort into my university experience. I would not have learnt vital digital skills which I can take into my future career, I would not have learnt to be comfortable in my own company, and I would not have learnt how to cook and develop healthy eating habits.
Using this new mindset, I was able to flip my perspective of failure, and the anxiety I had about giving the perfect performance became a lot softer. I recognise now, even if I never reach the key achievement, I will still achieve something for my efforts, whether it be a new skill, a new friend, or a new mindset. The smaller achievements are still achievements.
My future
Predicting the future of my mindset is not something I can realistically do. I still have so much to learn about myself and my mental health. After all, improvement does not happen overnight. Gaining a new and positive mindset can be enlightening, but you must be willing and able to work to maintain it. To do this, we must accept we often will not have the energy for this every day.
“If we know what our best is, if we have a glimpse of what our best feels like and the effort that goes into that, and we are always trying to meet that, then that’s unrealistic because our best is different every single day. Our bodies and our minds are different every single day.”
If I want to nurture my mind and help it grow, I need to be able to set limits with anxiety so we can develop a healthier friendship. Even though anxiety has her faults, I know she can be a good friend. She helps keep me safe and alerts me of danger. I must learn to appreciate that about her.To me, it is not about getting rid of my anxieties altogether, but learning how I can exist with them by setting boundaries and acknowledging my negative outlooks, this is why I often personify anxiety. It helps me to distance myself and think critically about the way she makes me feel. This approach may not work for everyone, but it works for me. This is why finding a mindset that works for you is so important.
In my last blog post, I shared tips employers could put into action to reduce people feeling anxious when attending work socials or networking events. I thought I would follow this up with some tips that you might find useful to adopt if you find yourself feeling anxious before going to a social event with friends, family or with work. I have definitely found myself struggling at larger events after the pandemic, so these strategies have been useful for me.
Many people occasionally worry about social situations, but some of us can feel overly worried, before, during and after them. This can be social anxiety or social phobia, which is a long term and overwhelming fear of social situations. If you feel that your social anxiety is affecting your everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships, work, or school life it is important you speak to someone to get help and support. You can call the No Panic helpline or speak to your GP. Social anxiety is a common problem you shouldn’t have to suffer alone. Your GP will be able to put you at ease and share treatments that might help you deal with the symptoms you experience.
Take something familiar with you.
I always take crystals, whether you believe they have healing properties or not I take them with me because they are small, comforting to hold and discreet. It’s rare I go anywhere without one on my person. I like how they feel in my pocket and with my ADHD they help to stop me from fidgeting. Find something that you can keep with you which will help you feel more grounded.
Wear clothing which makes you feel confident and comfortable.
Choose what you’re going to wear to your event a day or two in advance. It should be something that makes you feel confident and is also comfortable. Enclothed cognition is a psychology term which refers to how clothing can have a systematic influence on the wearer’s psychological process. You might find wearing your favourite red jacket makes you bold and confident, even if you don’t necessarily feel it on the inside. Or your favourite band t-shirt is an expression of the music you listen to and your identity, attaching positive memories such as being at a gig with friends.
Have a back-up plan.
If you do feel panic or overwhelm ensure you know how to get home safely or a phrase you might have as an excuse if you want to leave early. A good plan is to let a friend know or someone you trust that you are heading to an event alone. Ask them to be on standby so if you panic you can text them, and get them to send you three things that are great about yourself for that positive reinforcement.
Remind yourself of why you are attending the event.
Why are you going to the event? Is it you are keen to hear the speakers, interested in learning something new, are you there supporting a friend…remind yourself of the importance of why you are choosing to show-up! For me this is the one thing that can actually get me to the event in the first place before I can talk myself out of it.
Plan 2 or 3 topics you can talk about if you panic.
Talking to people is the best approach, which I know sounds weird if you feel anxious. I always have a couple of topics ready to make me feel comfortable, for example a film I watched recently, what I enjoy doing outside of work, or a story about my puppy Maverick. I don’t always use them but it is helpful to know they are there.
My advice would be to approach a small group of two or three people and simply be honest: “I’m so sorry to interrupt, it’s just that I don’t know anyone here and I was wondering if I could join your conversation?” It sounds horrifying but try and remember that people generally are human and that kind people WILL make you feel welcome. If they don’t, they are definitely not worth bothering with and this is on them and not you. I’ve also left events early where people are rude or it has been difficult to connect with individuals, I have learnt not to force those connections and waste my own time and energy.
Post event chill-out.
Once you have managed the event and are back home, I always try to self-soothe to regulate my nervous system from the feelings of anxiety. If it was a loud event, I like to be quiet and often will take a bath in the dark. I put on my comfy safe clothes (like my pjs) and I might sit on the couch with my puppy or get in bed with a book. I find if I’m overstimulated it can make me really tired. Try to ensure you regulate yourself post event to dissipate all the stress hormones. If it was an event you weren’t particularly wanting to attend but had to go, for example a work situation, then congratulate yourself on getting through it, try not to overthink the event and know next time it will feel a little easier.
I hope you find these tips useful. Know it can and it will get better.
