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  • Diet And Anxiety

    Diet And Anxiety

    Our diet can play an important role in helping anxiety.

     

    Diet is very important when it comes to anxiety. It is very easy to eat too little or too much. An anxious person might eat for comfort or find it difficult to actually swallow food. So let’s look at how you can help yourself by adjusting what you eat.

    Carbohydrates are the perfect food to give staying power, they also increase the production of serotonin otherwise known as the happiness hormone. Perfect examples of carbohydrates are brown bread and brown rice/pasta.

    Studies have shown that foods containing Vitamin B can lift our mood. Foods that are rich in vitamin B include meat such as beef, pork and chicken. Leafy greens vegetables and citrus fruits as well as nuts and eggs. These studies also show that omega-3 fatty acids found in fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, herring, mackerel, anchovies, and sardines, can be uplifting and enhance your mood.

    Protein can help improve mental energy and can be found in Greek yogurt, fish, meats, cheese, eggs, nuts, beans, soy, and lentils.

    Water makes up on average 60 – 70 percent of the human body, it carries hormones and nutrients to their destinations, so when fluid consumption is reduced this procedure starts to slow down causing many bodily dysfunctions.  Blood pressure may drop which can lead to dizziness. A faster heartbeat may be experienced as the heart tries to increase low blood pressure.  With less water in the body, our bodies produce fewer digestive juices than we need for digestion. This can lead to gas, constipation, loss of appetite and nausea. Urine becomes more concentrated, which can lead to infection. Without sufficient water, the brain will suffer. Leading to headaches and tiredness. Muscles may seize up or feel weak. Water also regulates body temperature, cushions joints and lubricates eyes. So you can see why it is really important to keep your body hydrated every day not just throughout the summer months.

    One last thing is the importance of breakfast. It has this name for a reason; BREAK the FAST. After a night’s sleep, our body needs re-fuelling to face the day So however hard it may be for some people, it is essential to eat something after getting up, a slice of toast, porridge of even a banana.

    So now let’s have a look at things to avoid or at least reduce;

    Caffeine

    Caffeine can increase your heart rate which could trigger feelings of panic. It can also have a depressing effect. Caffeine is also a diuretic making you urinate more often, which could lead to mild dehydration, which we have already spoken about. Another problem with caffeine is that it is a stimulant which can keep you awake, leading to tiredness which then leads to more issues!

    Sugar

    The bloodstream absorbs sugar very quickly which can provide a sudden energy boost. The problem is, the surge wears off very quickly and you are left tired and deflated.

    Alcohol

    Having a drink or two might seem like a good idea to ease anxiety or erase negative thinking but in fact, it can have the opposite effect as alcohol is a depressant and a diuretic.

    POINTS TO FOCUS ON:

    • Food is energy,  therefore important in the upkeep of our body and the way it functions. You wouldn’t expect your car to run properly without it having the proper fuel, it is the same for your body. 
    • It is always a good idea to keep a food diary. Note down everything you consume and then you have a record that you can look back on to see if anything, in particular, triggers your anxiety or general mood.
    • Remembering that each of these good and bad things we have discussed can affect everybody differently but in general the better your diet, the better your body will function.

    How can No Panic help?
    No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services include:
    Providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.
    Our aim is to give you all of the necessary advice, tools and support that you will need to recover and carry out this journey. No Panic Recovery Programs

  • The fear of fear: Why we panic and what we can do about it.

    The fear of fear: Why we panic and what we can do about it.

    By; Navit Schechter

    As lockdown measures start to ease, many of us are finding the emotional impact of the past few months has taken a toll which we may not recover from quite as quickly. Many of us have been dealing with heightened and sustained levels of stress and anxiety and, in those vulnerable to them, these uncomfortable feelings can lead to or increase panic attacks.

    A panic attack is a sudden, unexpected and intense rush of anxiety that can be extremely frightening and overwhelming to experience. Most panic attacks tend to last between 5 and 20 minutes and usually peak within 10 minutes or less before the feelings of anxiety begin to subside. This rush of anxiety is accompanied by physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, a rapid heart beat and/or feeling dizzy.

    These symptoms can be so intense that they lead you to think that you are going to die, have a heart attack, are going to faint or lose control of your mind, causing even more anxiety. In fact, it is this misinterpretation of physical symptoms that defines a panic attack i.e. when unpleasant or unusual physical symptoms in the body are interpreted as a sign of something dangerous and catastrophic happening, the level of anxiety and panic this creates is known as a panic attack. For example, when heart palpitations which are a normal sign of anxiety are interpreted as a sign of an impending heart attack, this understandably leads to overwhelming feelings of fear and panic.

    As panic attacks are so unpleasant and distressing, many people feel anxious about the thought of having another one which can trigger more panic attacks. Fear of fear and a negative cycle ensues.

    Recognising these unpleasant symptoms for what they are, and allowing yourself to experience them will help you to see for yourself that they are not harmful and dangerous, which will help to break this cycle of panic. This can be very difficult to do by yourself which is why the NICE guidelines recommend a short course of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to help you to break the cycle of panic.

    Although, it may not help you to break the cycle of panic in the long-term, reminding yourself that the symptoms you are experiencing are not dangerous and developing some coping statements can help you deal with feelings of anxiety in the short-term e.g. “I am safe, this is just my anxiety”, “these feelings will pass”, “anxiety can’t hurt me and “I have felt this way before and been fine afterwards”.

    Taking slow, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth, making sure to exhale for longer than you inhale can also help to feel more relaxed in the moment. Next time you feel anxious, try focusing your attention away from yourself and towards your surroundings e.g. focusing on the person you are with or taking out your phone and sending a message. This can help you to see that your physical symptoms of anxiety come and go according to how anxious you feel, rather than being a sign of a real danger.

    Having repeated panic attacks can make life very distressing and every-day tasks hard to deal with. If you find that you are avoiding places where you have had, or think that you might have, a panic attack and this is affecting your day-to-day life then you may benefit from seeking help. Your GP can help to rule out any underlying health concerns and refer you for a course of CBT within the NHS. Alternatively, you can visit the BABCP website at cbtregisteruk.com to find a therapist close to you.

    More about the author; Navit is a qualified and experienced Cognitive Behaviour Therapist and mental health author. She previously worked as a manager and CBT supervisor in a London NHS service but since moving to Cornwall with her family now sees clients privately and online. Navit also writes extensively about mental health, in particular the biological and cultural factors that lead to feelings of anxiety and what we can do to overcome these. In response to the Coronavirus outbreak and the inevitable impact this has on people’s mental health, Navit has written an ebook to give insight and tools to help people manage their feelings of anxiety during the pandemic.

    Navit’s ebook is normally priced at £9.99 but by using the exclusive code ‘nopanic’ you can buy it today for just £6 with a huge discount of 40%!! https://gumroad.com/l/howtostaycalminturbulenttimes

    How can No Panic help?

    No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services aim to providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.

    Become a member

  • Dehydration and Anxiety

    Dehydration and Anxiety

    Many things can aggravate or trigger anxiety and dehydration is one of them. When our bodies are dehydrated they do not function as well. Water makes up on average 60 – 70 percent of the human body, it carries hormones and nutrients to their destinations, so when fluid consumption is reduced this procedure starts to slow down causing many bodily dysfunctions.

    Blood pressure may drop which can lead to dizziness. A faster heartbeat may be experienced as the heart tries to increase low blood pressure.  With less water in the body, our bodies produce less digestive juices that we need for digestion. This can lead to gas, constipation, loss of appetite and nausea. Urine becomes more concentrated, this can provoke infection.

    Without enough water the brain will not work as it should and this can bring on headaches and tiredness. Muscles may seize up or feel weak. Water also regulates  body temperature, cushions joints and lubricates eyes.

    So you can see why it is important to keep your body hydrated not just in warm weather but all year round.

  • Coming out of lockdown

    Coming out of lockdown

    As many people are feeling excited about getting out and about again, meeting up with family and friends and even planning holidays after being in lockdown for so long, for others, it’s not such a bright prospect.

    In a recent survey by No Panic, 85% of you said your biggest fear was either yourself or a family member catching the virus.  With lockdown restrictions slowly being lifted the main concerns were having to go back to work, using public transport and sending children back to school. 

    All these worries are completely normal when you think about how ‘out of the ordinary’ this past year has been.  Our televisions, social media feeds and conversations have been flooded with nothing but Covid_19 and everything that goes with it, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  The uncertainty of the whole situation has unsettled our everyday lives causing negative thinking and increased anxiety. 

    So how do we get ourselves back to some kind of normality?
    How do we step out into the world again and start to socialise? 
    How do we stop our fears taking over our lives?

    • The first thing to remember is that we are all in this together. You are not alone with your worries. Don’t be afraid to speak out and share what you are feeling. 
    • Try not to let negative thoughts about what may happen wander around in your mind. Focussing on the bad will only make your anxiety worse.  Take each day as it comes. Do the best you can, with what you have.
    • Take care of your body. Looking after your physical health can reduce stress and anxiety as well as improving your mood.  This should include exercise, sleep and diet. 
    • Calm your mind. Meditation and mindfulness are ideal for this but there are many other things to try. Colouring, painting and reading are a few examples. Listening to soothing music or a relaxing podcast are also ideal. Try the No Panic Breathing animation.
    • Take things step by step. Moving forward slowly is better than staying where you are.  Meet up with one or two friends to begin with instead of a group? Maybe you will be able to continue to work from home on a part-time basis? Maybe you could car share instead of using public transport immediately? Look for solutions instead of focussing on problems. 
    • Limit your social media and news intake. Not everything you read is true. Follow accounts that make you feel positive and have a clear out any negative people.
    • Remember you have done this before. When the lockdown was put into place, you adapted to a new routine with many life changes. As restrictions are being lifted, once again changes will happen and you will adapt once more. 
    • Lastly, if you feel you need further help, take a look at the links below.  

    If you are worried about going back to work, take a look at the UK Government’s Working Safely Guidance.

    If you are worried about sending your children back to school, take a look at the UK Government’s Education and Childcare Guidance.

    If you are worried about your financial situation, take a look at The Money Advice Service.

    How can No Panic help?
    No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services include:
    Providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.
    Our aim is to give you all of the necessary advice, tools and support that you will need to recover and carry out this journey. No Panic Recovery Programs

  • Forgiveness

    Forgiveness

    By Tracy Nicholls

    The never-ending cycle of my mind
    Visiting places I don’t belong
    The dark cloud that envelopes my body and mind
    Is this how I want to live my life?

    Take one small step at a time
    Out of the darkness and towards the light
    Be true to myself and who I am
    Have the strength to hold my head up high

    Learn to accept without understanding
    This merry go round of emotions and regret
    The guilt and the pain
    Let them go and see them fly

    It’s time to say goodbye to darkness
    And let me see the light
    Time for forgiveness and kindness
    To guide me through my life.

  • On the theme of Kindness

    On the theme of Kindness

    By Jenny Cusack 

    I have been given kindness
It is a seashell, small and sandy in my pocket 
I carry it with me wherever I go
Coarse and smooth lines 
Harmonious contradictions 
Keep me at ease  

It sings songs of the sea 
Echoing choruses that tell me I am worthy
Landing like waves on vast open expanses 
Where there is room to breathe 
Salt soothing rattled bones 
Becoming strong, again  

I press its cool protective casing 
Against my lips
Feeling the moment
My place in the world 
Mind connected to body
A little life acknowledged 

I am limitless

    Jenny Cusack is a writer based in Newcastle upon Tyne. 
    www.jennycusack.co.uk
  • Kindness and sending cards under lockdown

    Kindness and sending cards under lockdown

    By Eleanor Segall Mandelstam

    The theme of Mental Health Awareness Week this year is Kindness, to oneself and to others. When we struggle with mental illness, it can be hard to be kind to ourselves and our self esteem can plummet. It is particularly hard too due to the global Coronavirus pandemic and having restrictions on daily life.

    I know this all too well as I have lived with bipolar 1 disorder since the age of 16, I am now 31. I also struggle with panic attacks and anxiety, with suspected PTSD symptoms for which I am in therapy for. I have lived with social anxiety and panic for a long time and it worsened after I became manic and hit crisis point in 2014. 

    I was hospitalised for my bipolar and while in hospital, I was sent cards from friends and family which brightened my hospital room and made me feel less alone, with their kind words. In group therapy, we also made handmade cards to give to loved ones. The glow of happiness it gave me always stayed with me.

    Thankfully, in 2020, my bipolar has stabilised on medication and therapy, and I recovered in time. Yet, when Coronavirus hit the UK in March, no one was prepared for the mental health effects that lockdown could bring. Additionally, we already live with a mental health epidemic that seems to be worsening worldwide.

    As part of the growing mental health community on Twitter which is supportive, I put out a tweet in March asking if anyone would like a free handmade card by post to cheer people up under lockdown. The response was overwhelming. In 24 hours, I had about 20 card requests from people I had never met- from Scotland to Kent!

    Some were struggling with their mental health, others were carers for elderly family or children with autism, one person requested a card for a widowed relative and many requested for those hospitalised due to coronavirus . Another requested to cheer up her own children under lockdown.

    The cards seemed to unite people and I enjoyed making them with glitter card, coloured card, stickers and pens and going out for my daily walk to the postbox to post them. People were happy to receive the cards and tweeted me to say thank you. It was such an amazing feeling to spread some happiness. 

    I decided to call the project Corona Cards as it was started due to the virus! It has grown faster than I ever thought it would. We are now a team of 5- with Becky Johnson, Donna Davidson, Abigail Schischa and Emma Gordon on board. Becky came on board via Twitter and the others were people I already knew. Our card-makers are talented- Becky and Emma are experienced at making handmade cards, Donna is a calligrapher, Abi is an artist and they have turned their hands to making beautiful bespoke cards. They also have demanding day jobs and volunteer for free!

    We recently partnered with a nursing home in Manchester to send cards to them for elderly and lonely residents with help from a friend, Debby. We were also featured in Metro.co.uk, the Telegraph and on Heart Breakfast Radio show and nominated for an every day heroes award by New York newspaper The Forward!   

    We began to get global requests too- from as far away as Canada and Nigeria! We can send those cards by email to any country globally. 

    Card designs can be bespoke and vary from inspirational quotes, themed cards, animals and butterflies, rainbow and glitter hearts and more.

    I decided to set up a Twitter and Instagram for the project and we now send out about 10 cards a day, with regular requests.  You can request a handmade Corona Card for free via our social media but we also ask that if you can afford, to donate to a mental health charity to help their work.

    The project was set up to help alleviate loneliness and spread joy and in the theme of this week- kindness. I know what it is like to feel lonely and we hope that we can brighten up the lives of those struggling with their mental health in lockdown and beyond.


    Eleanor Segall is the author of ‘Bring me to Light: Embracing my Bipolar and Social Anxiety’, with Trigger Publishing.
    She is a mental health blogger at https://beurownlight.com/ , freelance journalist, advocate and founder of Corona Cards.

    Eleanor’s personal story of panic attacks, bipolar, depression and social anxiety. It’s about finding light in the dark, hope where there often is none. @TriggerPub
  • Kindness: The character strength we could all flex a little more

    Kindness: The character strength we could all flex a little more

    By Ruth Cooper-Dickson

    “What the world needs now is love, sweet love” sang Jackie DeShannon. The world we live in right now demands that we love each other more and demonstrate deeper kindness, a strength we all have the ability to flex.

    As a positive psychology practitioner, I have been using character strengths for several years as an intervention with my clients. Kindness is classified as a character strength in the ‘Values in Action’: a scientific positive psychology questionnaire, which is free to complete and download. The questionnaire is built on research taken from religions across the world and philosophical teachings across three millennia. Understanding our character traits brings an awareness to our own values and awareness of our core beliefs. 

    WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DEMONSTRATE THE CHARACTER STRENGTH OF KINDNESS?
    To find out more and read Ruth’s complete article follow this link over to BALANCE MEDIA
    https://balance.media/kindness/?fbclid=IwAR1nwB2ODl16rYjq4tNq9LVw61R8O3mZtTT95eyA9P_x6haFUp0RcfhC9xI

    Ruth Cooper-Dickson
    Is one of No Panic’s fabulous patrons, a Mental Wealth Coach, Positive Psychology Practitioner and the founder and
    managing director of Champs Consult.  https://champsconsult.com/

    How can No Panic help?

    No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services aim to providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.

    Join one of No Panic’s Recovery Programs and learn anxiety management and cognitive behaviour therapy with a trained leader.

  • #TPWK

    #TPWK

    By Robbie-Lee Valentine

    Too little too late

    The UK’s Mental Health Minister Nadine Dorries has announced plans to provide leading charities a share of a 5-million-pound support package. The grants form part of a new NHS strategy put in place to help individuals struggling with their mental health.

    Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge said:

    “The last few weeks have been anxious and unsettling for everyone. We have to take time to support each other and find ways to look after our mental health”.

    Whether you’ve struggled with mental health issues before yourself or not, you’ll probably be aware of how much attention the mental health awareness movement is finally getting. Whilst the outbreak has presented new challenges to those already living with a diagnosis – we are now also seeing an unprecedented amount of much well needed government funding to assist more and more people accessing the services. The NHS has rolled out measures to ensure all of us who’re struggling are at least offered Facetime, Skype or digitally enabled therapy packages.

    #BeKind

    My thoughts go back to February of this year, particularly to the British born TV presenter Caroline Flack, her family and friends. Whilst we may all welcome the change to the mental health services provided by the government, unfortunately it was too late for Caroline, and others like her who needed the support then, months before we saw the worst of the pandemic. Before her tragic suicide she wrote a very poignant message on one of her social media accounts,

    “In a world where you can be anything, be kind” – and with that, Caroline’s legacy to the world, the kindness movement was born.
    Ever since, thousands of tweets have been written using the hashtag #BeKind. Did Caroline’s death form part of the catalyst in the shift of today’s attitudes surrounding the importance of, not only being kind but looking after our mental health with as much rigour as our physical health?

    What’s kindness?

    I don’t know about you, but whenever I begin to contemplate on the meaning of kindness, I immediately, perhaps quite rightly, think of myself doing kind deeds for others. Acting in ways that may hopefully improve the day of a loved one.. Or, even just intentionally offering a warm, loving smile to a stranger on the street. Quite simple and kind acts that have the potential to save lives.

    Kindness is a seed that grows within us and flourishes with radiating love and gratitude in the soul of the receiver. But what about you? Now might be a good time to put on the kettle, make yourselves a hot drink, or the beverage of your choice and allow yourself a few minutes to look inwardly. Scan your entire body and your thoughts whilst asking yourself how you’re truly feeling. Use this time to allow your mind to accept that, although what we’re currently experiencing is difficult and unpredictable, it’s perhaps for some, quite easy to dwell on the past and worry about the future. Especially for those with an anxiety related condition like OCD. When your mind starts to wander, remember this moment of calm and serenity and bring the focus back to deep mindful breathing. You have the control to come back to this space anytime you need to.

    Life Under Lockdown

    Whether you’re home schooling, working as a supermarket delivery driver, or even as a nurse on the front line. One thing that’s certain is that we all have more time on our hands. What we chose to do with this time is important. More time to be reflective. Time to reflect on the amount of people that have succumb to the pandemic. Reflective and appreciative of the hard work our key workers have done to help stop the spread of the virus. Grateful for all the lives that have been saved by our mighty NHS Doctors, Nurses, Cleaners and all involved, no matter their role.

    If you’re anything like me, the anxiety induced by the current situation very rarely seems to subside, even becoming obsessive at times. How can we manage this better?
    My anxieties are fuelled further by the general lack of structure and uncertainty. Exaggerated by mixed messages from government, the voice of my OCD and anxiety grow louder too with every passing day.

    Make a list of what troubles you most in order of anxiety level. For example:

    • Spread of germs
    • The children aren’t getting enough exercise
    • I’ve lapsed and washing hands more than necessary
    • Acting on old urges because of intrusive thoughts

    Living with ADHD & Autism during lockdown

    I made a very conscious decision recently.

    It’s one that I hoped would set the tone of my entire day. It came about around the time I was unable to get my medication for almost four weeks because of the chaos of late. Withdrawing and feeling the worst I’ve felt for months mentally. Disappointed in myself as I had only very recently recovered from Pure O, a little-known form of OCD. I thought I was doing very well until lockdown. Despite being taught new ways of learning to manage the ritualistic and frenzied behaviour of my Autism and ADHD – I felt myself being drawn back to previous distressing thought patterns and obsessions.

    These days again, as soon as my eyes would sluggishly open and I’d barely had time to focus and get my bearings – I’d reach for the remote control that’s normally hidden somewhere amongst my bedding. Reaching my hand out and searching through the sheets, passing over the bowl with the spoon that’s now stuck to it as the oat milk I ate cereal with at 1am has dried.

    Feeling my way through the warm slightly damp sheets (night terrors have become a thing again), past my charger, car keys, wallet, weighted vest and all the pointless pillows cocooning me, still no sign of the clicky-thing.
    Fumbling this time with my other hand through the crumbs and wrappers of whatever processed crap I shovelled into my mouth on one of my ‘don’t get out of bed for a week’ phases.

    Even though I was aware of crumbs falling onto my stained t-shirt and into the folds and cervices of my bed sheets, I still haven’t had the time to be bothered to change the sheets, as what’s the point? No one’s going to see it after all. Thankfully I’m single.
    Finally, after locating the remote, auto-pilot kicks in and I switch the TV on that’s bolted to my bedroom wall.

    Then, either I would flick through the channels from breakfast television doom and gloom to daytime TV Armageddon and back. Absolutely sick of the C word on the news, it’s almost as bad as the B word. Or, more often than not, I`d go and make my breakfast, maybe relieve myself, be overwhelmed with the light coming into the bathroom, look at the terrible state of my flat, feel a moment of hopelessness and dread with the uncomfortable heat on my skin radiating from under the bathroom blind – it would all be too much and I’d quickly find myself back in bed under my heavy blanket with Dr Hilary.

    This is how it all started before. Days and days of lying in bed paralysed with anxiety, racing and obsessive thoughts. Stimming away my energy by finger fluttering, counting in my head and vibrating my feet and toes at the speed of light. Patterns repeating themselves over and over, again and again – absolutely exhausting still I can’t sleep, all I can do is just lie there in my bed, one leg out of the duvet, on my back staring into space.

    I’d be constantly telling myself what it is I needed to do. But it’s lockdown, what do I really need to do? The voice that tells me to “Go and make a cup of tea”, only conjured up dread of potentially having to go in the kitchen where the harsh white light and buzzing of the kitchen light was. “Get a shower” – but I can’t bare the sensation of the water stabbing my body. “Slice some vegetables and make a decent meal” – What if I had thoughts of stabbing myself in the stomach, or I’ll start doing something else and forgot I even turned on the oven until it’s too late. I’ll just fester in bed.

    I start to replace intrusive thoughts with new mantras I learnt recently on a silent Buddhist retreat.
    Om tare tu tare ture swaha
    Om tare tu tar…

    “You can do this”, I suddenly say to myself amidst chanting.
    Before I get repetitive thought injury again, I remember I need to hear the reassuring voice of my therapist and her telling me that the worst thing I can do is to actively try to ignore my mind. I apparently possess the skills possible to turn this around. Believe it or not, we all do. It’s not as hard as it seems.

    The mindfulness of Kindness

    Think of ways you can help reduce your anxiety of the points you jotted down earlier.

    I thought to myself, “if I got rid of the TV in my bedroom and, instead of waking up and seeking another hit of glaring light from a glass screen, I might be able to steer my thoughts to a better place. You know, open the blinds, take a leak, splash some cold water over my face”, that sort of thing.

    That’s when change started to happen.

    Catching a quick glimpse of my sleepy face and squinting grimace in the bathroom mirror, I gave myself a look of disdain, like I was disappointed that I was here and that another day in lockdown had begun.

    But that’s not the truth.

    I remembered back to being intentionally kind to the strangers on the street, my fellow running buddies (they don’t know it, but they are).
    I remembered again Caroline’s words.

    “In a world where you can be anyone, be kind”.

    I started to chant these words over and over in my head adding be kind to yourself.

    “In a world where you can be anyone, be kind to yourself”. “In a world where you can be anyone, be kind to yourself”.

    I realised the reason I occasionally smile at strangers is to motivate them to keep going, keep running through the burn, through the worst of life under lock down.
    Just as I noticed I was urinating all over the bathroom floor, I debated with myself trying to determine why I’m never kind to myself, why I always criticise and mock myself? Why do I automatically take myself out of the picture by assuming that being kind is all about being kind to others?

    Of course, doing good deeds for others on the one hand is our duty, I believe.

    What about us? What about me?

    That’s it, I thought, as I finally psyched myself up to splash icy cold water on my face, wash my hands and clear up the mess on the floor.
    Then suddenly again, I lost all courage and momentum. I cringed as I thought about the odd thing I was about to do.

    But I did it.

    I stared deeply at my reflection. A dishevelled version of the person I know’s inside. I looked at myself in the mirror again, this time with real intent. I saw the usual crop that is my messy and greasy mop, my face frames with unkempt facial hair. Then examining my expression, I scoured at the blemishes on my face, pulled my lips down and tutted at the image of my stained teeth and crooked nose – then drew my focus to my eyes. My yellowy, green tired looking eyes.

    I forced myself to smile and, without thinking about it, I stared deeper, making actual eye contact with myself. Out of nowhere I heard myself saying out loud, “I love you; I actually really love you”.

    Immediately I felt this bizarre wave of kindness and love ride through my body reminiscent of the feeling I often have when practising Metta Bhavana. “There’s something in this, it feels like magic”, I thought.
    And from that day forward, the first thing I do now after I’ve peeled open my crusty eyes, no matter my initial thoughts, or mood, I simply smile and tell myself that today is going to be a good day and that I love myself.

    You should try it.

    Covid-19 Changed Me

    The week-old dirty pots and pans, sticky spoons and bowls and my bushy beard all get a facelift.. My hermit haven is now filled with the smell of bleach and polish, and the noise from the washing machine vibrates through the floor.. No longer am I neglecting myself. I changed my smelly, stained bed sheets and, despite having nowhere to go except the supermarket or the coast road for a jog,

    I change out of my bed clothes and put on clean, fresh clothes – and I smile again.

    Our whole lives can be split into a number of very small moments like these. Now more than ever, it’s absolutely paramount that we pay extra care to those around us who’re already suffering with any mental health related condition. Just one moment of negative thinking, or intentionally doing a negative act to ourselves or to someone else, is one too many.

    In whatever way makes sense to you, remember the value of the #BeKind movement. Take kindness with you wherever you go and use it as a powerful source of light for those still left in the shadows. If we adore ourselves, we turbo charge our ability to treat others, including strangers with beautiful purposeful, mindful acts of kindness.

    Imagine that daily smile as the seed that flourishes within you, nurturing your soul and radiating out of your loving soul for the whole world to bask in.

    Finally, remember it starts with you. Happy Mental Health Awareness week.

    Rest in peace, Caroline, thank you.

    Robbie-Lee Valentine x

    Swami Purnachaitanya, senior programme director, Art of Living, is Robbie’s inspiration for continuing along the path of spirituality. https://www.swamipurnachaitanya.com/

    “Never underestimate the power of kindness, it is the power you have to uplift people, instantly. Just like a harsh comment, blame or criticism hurts us and makes us feel uncomfortable, even if we know it is not true or justified, a kind comment or praise we receive from someone always uplifts us, even if we know it is not true. This is why they say praising, from the heart, is a divine quality”. – Swami Purnachaitanya The Art of Living

    Robbie-Lee Valentine is a TV presenter, writer and mental health advocate. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7LG4w8H7x53Gtbylb4JYCQ
  • Kindness to oneself

    Kindness to oneself

    By Natasha Devon MBE

    I think most people would agree on the importance of being kind to others. We’ve all seen small acts of generosity and thoughtfulness which have huge impacts on their recipients. Plus, studies show when we do good deeds it doesn’t just benefit the person for whom the deed is done – the deed doer also receives a dose of feel-good endorphins, which help restore brain chemistry and induce a so-called ‘helper’s high’. 

    But what about the kindness we show towards ourselves? In 2018 I read a book which changed my perspective on many things. The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi argues that if we want to examine our lives and change our habits, the first step is to do so with the same compassion and patience we would if we were helping our best friend. 

    When we tune into our inner voice, it’s surprising how often we’re telling ourselves, in a whole host of different ways and situations, that we are lazy, incapable or stupid. These thoughts are often the result of residual beliefs which emerged during childhood experiences – a family friend who used to say we needed to lose weight, an incident when a parent lost their temper and said something cruel they didn’t mean, or a teacher who would tell us we weren’t any good at a particular subject. The chances are, if we could track those people down and ask them, they wouldn’t even remember making the comment. They were probably having a bad day, or projecting their own issues. Their assessments certainly have no bearing on the person we have become today. 

    Furthermore, we know that for the vast majority of people being highly critical doesn’t work as a motivator. If we were trying to encourage a friend to achieve a goal, we wouldn’t scream at them that they should never have let themselves get this way in the first place, or that they’ve destined to fail because they’re so useless. So why do we do this to ourselves? 

    Shahroo, who has a background working in addiction, also talks about how so many of us put our lives on hold until we have reached the (often arbitrary) targets we have set ourselves. Until we have lost that weight, or got that promotion, we don’t think we are worthy of showing ourselves kindness. So we say no to social occasions, or deny ourselves a holiday, believing the experience will only be fun and rewarding if we can do it as our ‘best selves’.

    Yet as the COVID19 crisis has taught us, life is often unpredictable and fate tends not to care about our plans. Lockdown actually represents a really good time to assess how well our lifestyle and habits are serving our wellbeing and happiness. For most of us, we have spent some time off the ‘treadmill’, not being carried along unawares by the momentum of the things we usually do every day. Spending more time at home with our families, or conversely not being able to see them, has made lots of us realise how precious time is and reassess our priorities. 

    If you have the energy, now is therefore an excellent time for a life audit. But, if you take up this challenge, make sure you treat yourself with the same kindness you would show someone you love. 

    You can buy The Kindness Method here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kindness-Method-Changing-Habits-Good/dp/1509881824/ 

    As well as being one of No Panic’s valued patrons, Natasha Devon MBE is a writer and campaigner. She travels schools and colleges throughout the UK and the world delivering classes and conducting research with teenagers, teachers and parents on mental health, body image and social equality.  Her latest book ‘Yes You Can: Ace Your Exams Without Losing Your Mind’ can be bought here  You can also listen to her brand new podcast ‘Staying Sane in Quarantine’ here  And the fabulous ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Being Mental, an A-Z’ can be bought  here.

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    No Panic specialises in self-help recovery and our services include:
    Providing people with the skills they need to manage their condition and work towards recovery.
    Our aim is to give you all of the necessary advice, tools and support that you will need to recover and carry out this journey. Find out more: https://nopanic.org.uk/no-panics-5-step-approach/