By Amy Moore, Content Team Contributor
Sometimes, for people with anxiety, activities that may seem so simple for everyone else, can feel impossible to accomplish. When I was a teenager, my anxiety became so debilitating that some days it was a struggle to leave the house. School, which had once been my favourite place in the world, became somewhere that it felt impossible to return to, so I spent a lot of time sitting in the car outside. It eventually became easier, and I went back to school, and those anxiety-riddled days became something that I would not talk about because I just felt so ashamed that something which should beso easy had become so difficult. So, although I had come such a long way from those days sitting in the car outside the school gate, I never really accepted that progress because I so desperately wanted to forget that time of my life had existed.
It is only as I’ve grown older that it’s become clear to me that struggling with these everyday things should definitely not be something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. I found that feeling that sense of embarrassment only made my anxiety worse as I would keep telling myself that other people did not feel like this, and that I was just being stupid. You’re not being stupid. Anxiety is something that is so difficult to fully understand unless you, yourself, have actually felt the tiresome effects that it can have on all aspects of life. And that is why I have started to celebrate anything and everything that takes me out of my comfort zone.
There is no achievement too big or too small to celebrate. For example, the dentist has always been a huge anxiety of mine, mostly because I really don’t like sitting in waiting rooms – the silence and the stillness is just fuel that gives me nothing to focus on except how anxious I am. That is why I have always brought someone with me to appointments because I was so convinced that if I had to attend alone then I would simply bolt out the door and not come back. But, for the first time, at the age of twenty, I had to attend the dentist on my own last week.
I won’t say that the experience was without anxiety, because it was most definitely present, but I managed it. And, for me, that was such an incredible achievement. So on my way back to the car, I treated myself to a coffee from the cute coffee shop next to the dentist, and it was the best coffee I have ever tasted. I want to make it clear that this kind of achievement is less about trying to prevent anxiety, and more about feeling the anxiety and telling yourself that you can do it. Sometimes, you just have to do it whilst being anxious. At the end of the day, trying to accomplish something is much better than simply believing that you can’t do it. You are capable of anything you set your mind to, even with anxiety.
I think it is so important to reward yourself for any and all steps you take outside of your comfort zone. There’s a tendency to always believe that you could have done more or that it was not worth the energy that was required, when in fact, every little step is a step in the right direction. Everyone is on their own journey and so there is no sense in comparing your own achievements with other people; reward yourself for simply trying, perhaps with your favourite dinner or some cake or even something as simple as taking a day to binge watch your favourite tv show. I find that having something to look forward to in the aftermath really helps to encourage me to try new things, which oftentimes, opens up doors to be attempting things that I never believed would have been possible when I was that young girl refusing to walk throughthe school gates.
I want you to see for yourself that, although anxiety can be a horrific thing to experience, it is worth trying to push the boundaries of your comfort zone in any way that you can, even in the smallest of ways and using whichever techniques work best for you. Do what you need to do in order to take back control over your life, even if that means getting an over-priced drink from the coffee shop down the road!