NoPanic

Tag: Motivation

  • Facing Setbacks and Moving Forward

    By Amy Moore, Content Team Contributor

    Anxiety is not linear. And, therefore, the process of making peace with anxiety will also not be linear. This is a notion that I have struggled with for a long time because I always just wanted to feel better. I wanted to be able to snap my fingers and for my anxiety to just be gone. Over the years, I have discovered time and time again that this wish is unrealistic.

    I like to describe it as ‘making peace with anxiety’ because I generally dislike the notion of having to fight or struggle with anxiety; for me, it has always been physically and mentally exhausting to interpret anxiety as something that I needed to struggle against or defeat.  And so, recently, I’ve started to think of anxiety as something I need to make peace with, to understand that it is not there to hurt me; if anything, anxiety is there as a protection, it just sometimes gets a little overprotective, and that’s when it gets in the way of living life, which is what I do not want. Anxiety has been a core part of my life for the last nine years, and so attempting to dismantle even the unconscious defence strategies that I have built in my mind has been difficult to say the least. There have been ups and downs, high highs and low lows, but I can finally say that, in recent months, there are definitely more good days than bad days. But the art of persevering has not been an easy one to master.

    The good days are good. I can compartmentalise anxiety to the extent that I can forget that it’s even there. I look at these days as a huge achievement and that all the hard work has paid off. Some days, having this mindset feels so easy, so simple. I feel as though I could do anything and that I’ve come so far from the person who once could not even leave the house without having a panic attack. I can go out with my friends, I can go out for a meal, I can drive to somewhere I’ve never been before. These things that now seem so simple, but that used to seem so far out of reach for me, have become my daily life. It’s during these times that I vow that I am getting better and that I can feel as though I can finally move on.

    And then come the days where it feels hard to remember any progress that I felt I had made. It happened recently at university when I had a panic attack during a presentation. I remember thinking that I’d made a fool of myself and that everyone had noticed and that all that progress I thought I had made was all gone and that I was back at the beginning once again. I could physically feel how I unconsciously fell into my old defence mechanisms, talking faster so that I could get to the end of my powerpoint and I could just sit down and finally everyone would stop looking at me. I wanted to run home and hide in my room, and I felt as though I was back at the very beginning, where public speaking seemed impossible. But, instead of heading home and thinking too much about it, instead, I went and treated myself to an overpriced coffee and a muffin. I just took twenty minutes to breathe.

    I had to remind myself that just a week previously I’d managed to get on a train and go into a busy city to go to the theatre, and that had been such an achievement that even six months ago, I never could have done. One setback did not diminish the fact that I had achieved that. Sometimes it helps to just put things into perspective, to acknowledge the progress, the setbacks, and then to move forwards. I have been guilty of dwelling on what I perceived as my own failures on this journey to getting my life back from anxiety, but they are not failures, and no one should see them as such. I had to look at it differently. How great was it that I stood up to do that presentation feeling incredible? It was the first time that I could ever remember going into a presentation with some degree of confidence. It may not have gone the way that I wanted, but at least I hadn’t been riddled with anxiety beforehand. And for me, that was an achievement.

    I think it’s important to acknowledge that these things will not be a straight path all the time. It’s normal to have good days and bad days. But, it is also important to not let the bad days overshadow the good days. Sure, sometimes it may feel as though you’ve taken three steps back in a single day, but that does not diminish the progress that you’ve already made. Anxiety is so difficult because it can feel all-encompassing, in your mind and in physical symptoms, it can be so isolating on the bad days that the good days feel like an impossible dream. But, what I have learned is that the good days and the bad days go hand-in-hand. Progress is not linear, but when you take a step back to look at the bigger picture, perhaps you’ll see that you’ve come further than you had ever imagined was possible.

  • The Importance of ‘Doing it Anyway’

    By Craig Soutar, Content Team Contributor

    Regular readers of our articles will have seen our recent posts highlighting the new book ‘And how does that make you feel’, by Josh Fletcher (read more here), past sufferer turned psychotherapist specialising in anxiety disorders. As I sat down to compose a new article for the No Panic blog, it was thinking about Josh that reminded me of how important it can be, in recovering from anxiety, to rack up ‘did it anyways’.

    Have you heard of a ‘did it anyway’ ? Does it sound like something a child would do when they are told not to? Well in some ways, it’s not dissimilar, though this is not about rebelling against your parents, but instead against the distorted messages that anxiety is sending you. 

    ‘The anxiety cycle’

    For any of you who have already experienced or read about Cognitive Behaviour therapy, you may be familiar with the concept that anxiety is maintained by a vicious cycle. It looks something like this:

    One of the key tricks to improving your relationship with anxiety is to become familiar with this cycle and start to see if you can spot it playing out, before finally looking for actions you can take to interrupt that cycle. 

    ‘Changing your behaviour for anxiety’

    In this article, I am going to focus on the ‘Change of behaviours’ step. In the example above, the anxious behaviour was not getting on a bus. This supported all the anxious thoughts, feeling sna symptoms which suggested the bus was dangerous. Unfortunately, not getting on the bus has consequences. Not only did it stop them getting to where they were going, but it also reinforced to the nervous system that it was right, after all, if it wasn’t right, why would we have avoided getting on the bus – it must indeed have been dangerous. 

    ‘Doing it anyway’

    So thinking about the anxiety cycle, how could we break it using behaviours, applying a ‘do it anyway’ mindset? .. top points for anybody who has guessed ‘getting on the bus’. 

    Sounds terribly simple doesn’t it. You may even be thinking ‘duh, do you think I don’t want to get on the bus?’. Alas, often the right things to do in life are not easy … taking medicine is rarely fun, but the long-term benefits are generally worth it. In the case of the anxiety cycle, don’t assume that in suggesting this action, that a therapist or no panic staff member does not realise how difficult it is. We understand that it meanschallenging all your natural instincts, and takes immense bravery, but also be assured that just like medicine, the long-term benefits are worth it. 

    Presumably having summoned all your bravery and taken the bus ride, you are now free of anxiety, you’ve beaten it, right? People often think if they have ‘broken’ the cycle, they must immediately feel fine. However, your nervous system does not have an on/off switch – think of it more like a dimmer. After all, from your nervous system perspective, you’ve got on the bus and ok this one time you appear to have been safe, but it can’t assume that means you will be fine every time, so it will continue to present some level of challenge to you. However, over time, if you keep getting on that bus, your nervous system continues to update its records and adapting it’s response – that’s how over time, you find newer better responses. 

    ‘What behaviours are worth challenging?’

    Commonly when raising this topic, people assume this is all about big events, like getting on planes, or speaking in public, but it applies at every level of your recovery. It can be useful to sit with a pen and paper. Look for things in your life that either you used to enjoy or want to do now, but don’t do, especially if the reason is something like…. ‘because it will make me feel anxious’, ‘because I won’t be able to cope’, ‘because I will die’, ‘because I will go mad’.

    You might be surprised to find you are avoiding simple things like walking down their street because they might bump into somebody and ‘…couldn’t cope with that’. This is why people who anxiously avoid tend to find their world gets smaller and smaller. Below are some examples in a few different categories to get you started, but see what you can notice:

    Big ChallengesSocial ThingsPhysical challengesLifestyle challenges
    Avoid getting on a plane, because I might panic… Avoid meeting friends, because I’ll do something stupidAvoid going to the gym, because my anxiety ridden body can’t do that Avoid drinking caffeine, because it will set off my anxiety
    Avoid applying for that new job, because the nerves will make me faint Avoid going to an event in public, because people will be watching meAvoid going for a walk, because the exertion may bring on a panic attachAvoid watching the news, because I can’t handle anything negative just now
     Avoid going to the supermarket because I might make a scene Avoid doing your relaxation practice, because I might notice anxiety and I can’t face it 

    Next steps

    Hopefully you’ve understood the part that avoiding behaviours can play in your anxiety disorder and how ‘doing it anyway’ can be one of the strongest tools you have in re-educating your nervous system that you are fine and you can cope. 

    Try the exercise of identifying behaviours you are adapting for your anxiety. Once you’ve got a list, pick one or two and set yourself a goal to challenge them. You don’t have to do everything at once and you don’t have to go straight to the biggest thing. Also, remember doing it will still be scary, but that’s ok and you will be fine. If you need support remember our helpline is there to talk it through, open every day between 10am – 10pm on 0300 7729844. You could also consider signing up to our 1-1 mentoring service while you work through it. So please remember to be kind to yourself and continue to know that this will pass. 

  • Want to Make Progress?

    Lila Saw, Content Team Contributor

    Needing help is never anything to be ashamed of, needing help shows that you’re human. Everyone needs help, whether it’s with something like baking or whether it’s to make progress with anxiety, help is help. In this article you will hopefully understand why making progress is important and why it can make a huge difference within your life. I hope you will consider making progress with your own anxiety. If you can’t at this time in your life, I understand and that’s okay as well. People can find it hard to reach out for help. 

    Why make progress? Well, perhaps, the reason you’re reading this is because you want to make a change. I understand that things may be hard right now, life may be hard right now but, in the future your life will bring great things. You’ll have dreams to achieve and seeking help with your anxiety may enable you to achieve your dreams. All amazing people need help sometimes and it’s vital that you feel safe, heard and important. Everyone has different paths in life and everyone has different stories. This is a part of your story and it makes you who you are. However, this part in your story doesn’t have to be forever, it could be a minuscule chapter in your life. If you think about all of the opportunities that awaits you, you’ll understand the need to get help and to make progress with your anxiety. 

    Progress can be something small. It can be as simple as expressing the need for help. However, progress is important, progress aids recovery. When you make progress you install a small amount of pride within yourself. Small things add up and over time you may become thrilled with the progress you’ve made. You could track your progress to use as a reminder that you’ve got this. You could even use a reward system. Things like these make progress something simple, it doesn’t make you overwhelmed and it doesn’t cause you stress. 

    Struggling is a part of life but, the important thing to remember is that it’s not forever. If you need to let it all out, let it all out. If you need to vent, vent. If you need help, then reach out to someone. Sometimes the smallest steps are the most important. 

    This No Panic website can be your guide, it shows information and it also has techniques you can use to make progress. You can get help from the No Panic helpline by calling 0300 7729844 every day between 10am and 10pm. Baby steps are the most efficient. Anxiety isn’t something that’s solved over night, it takes time. However, I believe that it’s most definitely worth it. Remember your goals, dreams and hopes in life and hold onto that as you make progress, it’ll help you tremendously. Things always fall into place, don’t feel alone and don’t feel like you can’t reach out, there’s always someone there for everyone. You’re doing the best you can, I hope this inspires you to make progress with your own anxiety. If there’s one thing you take away from this article let it be this: ‘You have to break down before you can breakthrough’ – The hardest things come before the best, you can do this.

  • My Experience of Anxiety: My Brother

    by Meghan Gamble, Mindless Mag

    Meet my brother, Callum. Callum is 25 years old, he owns his own web accessibility consultancy business and has written a book. He is also autistic and has dealt with anxiety, depression, and the highs and lows of his condition for most of his life. eighteen-year-old Callum would have never believed the position that he is in now. Life has not been easy for him, however, with his strength and determination, he has managed to conquer the anxieties that once held him back. This article will reveal how Callum overcame his struggles and how you can do the same!

    Definitions 

    Firstly, it is essential to delve into some critical definitions that will be mentioned throughout the article. One important definition is autism. 

    According to the National Autistic Society, autism is a lifelong developmental disability which affects how people communicate and interact with the world. Autism is a spectrum condition that affects people in different ways. Some difficulties that autistic people may share are social communication and social interaction challenges, repetitive and restrictive behaviour, over-or under-sensitivity to light, sound, taste or touch, highly focused interests or hobbies, extreme anxiety, meltdowns, and shutdowns. Like all people, all autistic people are different and have their individual strengths and challenges. 

    Another important definition, which is the key to this article, is anxiety. According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is an emotion characterised by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure. Physical symptoms that an individual with anxiety may endure include sweating, trembling, dizziness, or a rapid heartbeat. Anxiety is considered a future-oriented, long-acting response broadly focused on a diffuse threat. 

    Statistics for anxiety range from 6 in 100 people being diagnosed with anxiety in the UK and over 8 million people experiencing an anxiety disorder at any time. 

    These statistics show that having anxiety is not a rare phenomenon and that millions of people will suffer every day because of the worrying thoughts that take over their lives. 

    Callum’s story 

    Callum recalls that he was told by our nan that he worries too much. As an individual not from my nan’s generation, this may sound very shallow and outdated, however, it was enough for Callum to gather the determination to get rid of excessive amounts of worry and anxiety. Because of this minor yet impactful statement from our nan, Callum has immersed himself on a self-development journey for years. Some things have worked, and others haven’t, however, the ups and downs have turned into growth for Callum. This is important because this is what life is about – the ups and downs, setbacks and achievements, making us stronger as people. 

    Below are several ways in which Callum struggled and found himself in a state of anxiety and how he overcame this and learnt to deal with the emotion. 

    When Callum began working after he completed university, he felt anxious every day. Callum recalled that he felt massive pressure from people to reply to queries and emails immediately. He found it particularly hard to do this because his autism means he has slower processing and can’t get to grips with what people are asking of him straight away. As a result, all the words would jumble up on the screen and he would send himself into a state of anxiety. The change he made to conquer something affecting his daily life was to take his time to reply to people consciously. He sat back, took a deep breath, and thought about what his following actions would be. By allowing himself to take the time to reply to people, he would formulate answers to the emails between tasks that he was working on. Callum saw that this eliminated the pressure he had previously felt. Whether you are autistic or not and find yourself in a similar situation to Callum by feeling enormous amounts of pressure from people to get something done in your work life, it is vital to put your needs and mental health first. The people pressuring you may have to wait an extra hour or two, but if you can do the job to your full potential in this extra time, then it will benefit all involved. 

    Callum had anxiety about his social life, which I’m sure is something we all can relate to. Being autistic, Callum found it challenging to process what people were saying to him and read the emotions on their faces or their body language. He also had anxiety about how other people perceived him – he tried to change his voice, so it sounded deeper and was perceived as more masculine. He tried to change his posture to look taller and more confident. However, he realised this made him more awkward than before! 

    Callum discovered that by going through this experience, he should leave it up to other people to decide whether they wanted to be friends with him or not. He accepted that he didn’t have to change anything to get people to like him. Ultimately, getting people to like you is out of your control. Let people think what they want to believe, and the right people will gravitate towards you. These people are often your true friends, which is worth more than trying to get everyone to like you. Callum developed this mindset by teaching himself to have an open mind, which got rid of much of his anxiety.  

    Here is an important quote recommended by Callum: 

    “Nothing that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it’s faced”.