NoPanic

Tag: social phobia

  • Six tips to overcome feelings of anxiety when attending social events.

    By Ruth Cooper-Dickson, No Panic Patron.

    In my last blog post, I shared tips employers could put into action to reduce people feeling anxious when attending work socials or networking events. I  thought I would follow this up with some tips that you might find useful to adopt if you find yourself feeling anxious before going to a social event with friends, family or with work. I have definitely found myself struggling at larger events after the pandemic, so these strategies have been useful for me.

    Many people occasionally worry about social situations, but some of us can feel overly worried, before, during and after them. This can be social anxiety or social phobia, which is a long term and overwhelming fear of social situations. If you feel that your social anxiety is affecting your everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships, work, or school life it is important you speak to someone to get help and support. You can call the No Panic helpline or speak to your GP. Social anxiety is a common problem you shouldn’t have to suffer alone. Your GP will be able to put you at ease and share treatments that might help you deal with the symptoms you experience.

    1. Take something familiar with you.

    I always take crystals, whether you believe they have healing properties or not I take them with me because they are small, comforting to hold and discreet. It’s rare I go anywhere without one on my person. I like how they feel in my pocket and with my ADHD they help to stop me from fidgeting. Find something that you can keep with you which will help you feel more grounded.

    • Wear clothing which makes you feel confident and comfortable.

    Choose what you’re going to wear to your event a day or two in advance. It should be something that makes you feel confident and is also comfortable. Enclothed cognition is a psychology term which refers to how clothing can have a systematic influence on the wearer’s psychological process. You might find wearing your favourite red jacket makes you bold and confident, even if you don’t necessarily feel it on the inside. Or your favourite band t-shirt is an expression of the music you listen to and your identity, attaching positive memories such as being at a gig with friends.

    • Have a back-up plan.

    If you do feel panic or overwhelm ensure you know how to get home safely or a phrase you might have as an excuse if you want to leave early. A good plan is to let a friend know or someone you trust that you are heading to an event alone. Ask them to be on standby so if you panic you can text them, and get them to send you three things that are great about yourself for that positive reinforcement.

    • Remind yourself of why you are attending the event.

    Why are you going to the event? Is it you are keen to hear the speakers, interested in learning something new, are you there supporting a friend…remind yourself of the importance of why you are choosing to show-up! For me this is the one thing that can actually get me to the event in the first place before I can talk myself out of it.

    • Plan 2 or 3 topics you can talk about if you panic.

    Talking to people is the best approach, which I know sounds weird if you feel anxious. I always have a couple of topics ready to make me feel comfortable, for example a film I watched recently, what I enjoy doing outside of work, or a story about my puppy Maverick. I don’t always use them but it is helpful to know they are there.

    My advice would be to approach a small group of two or three people and simply be honest: “I’m so sorry to interrupt, it’s just that I don’t know anyone here and I was wondering if I could join your conversation?” It sounds horrifying but try and remember that people generally are human and that kind people WILL make you feel welcome. If they don’t, they are definitely not worth bothering with and this is on them and not you. I’ve also left events early where people are rude or it has been difficult to connect with individuals, I have learnt not to force those connections and waste my own time and energy.

    • Post event chill-out.

    Once you have managed the event and are back home, I always try to self-soothe to regulate my nervous system from the feelings of anxiety. If it was a loud event, I like to be quiet and often will take a bath in the dark. I put on my comfy safe clothes (like my pjs) and I might sit on the couch with my puppy or get in bed with a book. I find if I’m overstimulated it can make me really tired. Try to ensure you regulate yourself post event to dissipate all the stress hormones. If it was an event you weren’t particularly wanting to attend but had to go, for example a work situation, then congratulate yourself on getting through it, try not to overthink the event and know next time it will feel a little easier.

    I hope you find these tips useful. Know it can and it will get better.

  • When to Do the Breathing Exercise: Going Out

    This is the second part of a three-part series on the No Panic breathing exercise. In this series, we are focusing on when to do the breathing exercise. It’s all about the timing.

    Anxiety can cause people to struggle to leave their homes , to go anywhere. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a small journey to a local shop, or a longer journey to a place far away. The thought of going out can be so overwhelming for some, that they simply stay at home. The longer they stay at home, the harder it is for them to go out.

    There are also people whose anxiety intensifies when they go out. This can cause them to feel exhausted when they get home. They may even suffer panic attacks after they arrive home. It doesn’t matter if they went for a short walk or they went out with friends. Anxiety does its best to make them feel bad because they went out.

    If the thought of going out is a trigger for your anxiety, you can use the breathing exercise to prevent anxiety either stopping you from going out, or punishing you for going out.

    The first step is to plan the time when you’re going to go out. You could do that a few hours beforehand, the night before, or a few days in advance. Doing this means you will know when you are due to go out.

    Usually when people go out, they aim to be ready in time for the moment they expect to set off. When you have anxiety as that moment draws nearer, your anxiety increases.

    Aim to be ready at least 10 minutes before you go out. In those 10 minutes you have given yourself, do the breathing exercise until the moment you walk out of the front door. Although it is good to do the breathing exercise while sitting down, you can do the breathing exercise while you are walking towards the door to go out. Make sure setting off is the first thing you do after doing the breathing exercise. Don’t give anxiety enough time to return and undo your hard work.

    You can do the breathing exercise when you’re out. If you allow yourself enough time, you can stop walking or driving for a few minutes to do the breathing exercise, before continuing your journey. It isn’t necessary to stop, so you can still do the breathing exercise if you haven’t allowed yourself enough time for stops.

    If you’re spending time somewhere, you could do the breathing exercise when you arrive, before you go in. That is particularly useful if there are going to be lots of people there, or you are meeting up with others. While you’re not talking to others, there may be other opportunities to do the breathing exercise.

    As you get good at doing the breathing exercise to ease your anxiety when you go out, knowing you can do the breathing exercise to keep your anxiety under control may give you confidence. Increased confidence can reduce anxiety. You could even become reassured enough while out, that you can reduce how often you do the breathing exercise.

    Remember what I wrote about how anxiety punishes people for going out? You can stop anxiety punishing you. Simply sit down and do the breathing exercise for 10 minutes soon after you are home. You are home, so there is more time to do the breathing exercise.

    Don’t let anxiety stop you or punish you for going out to relax. Don’t let anxiety stop you or punish you for going out to enjoy yourself. Do the breathing exercise before you go out, while you are out, and when you get home.