NoPanic

Author: millie.painter

  • Do I Have Anxiety?

    By Paris Gill, Content Team Contributor

    Do I have anxiety? This is a thought I have often. When I’m with friends. When I’m walking through town. When I’m in a shop. I definitely think it when I’m in the gym, or if I’m wearing new clothes. But do I have anxiety?

    I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety, although I have talked to a therapist about it. If I were to explain my anxious feelings, it’s more situational. The anticipation of a social event, knowing I will have to talk to strangers, makes me feel sick or cry. It makes me absolutely 100% try and find any excuse not to go to that event, even if I’ve been looking forward to it.

    In the past I used to never go. I would miss school trips, cancel plans with friends, and not leave my house for days because I didn’t want anyone on the street to look at me. It got to the point where I’d order takeaway because I hadn’t had the energy to go to the supermarket for fear of having to talk to the cashier.

    And then I had the bright idea of doing a study abroad. For a year. In South Korea, which is a 14-hour flight away.

    What was I thinking!

    My year abroad in a country where I kind of spoke the language but definitely didn’t know the culture or the people was the greatest challenge, and achievement, of my life so far. I worked so hard to get the grades and means to go to Seoul, and I miss life out there every day.

    But for the first 2 months or so, I HATED it. The homesickness was crippling, and the constant anxiety of having to translate every interaction I had, anticipating the misunderstandings or confusion, was overwhelming. 99% of the population of South Korea are native Koreans, and so for me, a blue-eyed blond, it was glaringly obvious I did not fit in. In many ways, it was everything I’d desperately tried to avoid whilst I’d been at uni in the UK.

    So what changed? Number one: I found friends who had the same interests as me. When you go on a study abroad, there are always niche and specific reasons why people have gone. With Korea, this ranged from an interest in its history to KPOP! So finding a couple people who liked the same music as you, for instance, meant that there was automatically more people (who also didn’t fit in) to hang out with. 

    Number two: I started being selfish. In the past, I’d gone along with friends’ plans even if I’d been completely exhausted, and sometimes scheduled way too many things in a day. So I stopped saying yes. Stopping saying yes to everything means I had more energy to agree to plans that I genuinely wanted to do, and schedule my time accordingly so I wouldn’t be too busy on the days I’d planned. Last-minute plans were never worth it if all I wanted to do was be in bed that day!

    And number three, which I couldn’t believe happened, I enjoyed doing things alone. Seoul is a massive sprawling city, and there was so much that I wanted to see or do before I headed home. And so instead of having the anxiety of compromise, or worrying if my friends liked my suggested activity, I would do things alone. With headphones in and a book in my bag, it became easier to ignore the real or imagined surrounding staring, and embrace being a fish out of water. 

    I thought my year abroad was the end of my anxiety. With all the socialising and new things I’d experienced, how could I be anxious about doing all of that back home? But when I got back to the UK and started my final year of university, the social anxiety returned.

    Suddenly it was even harder to drag myself out, and the thought of having to make new friends again was exhausting. But shouldn’t I be used to this? Shouldn’t I be able to do this in my sleep now?

    What I realised is that no matter how much practice and experience I had in pushing down my social anxiety, the social anxiety didn’t leave. It wasn’t cured by me pushing myself out of my comfort zone, nor was it cured when I stayed in and didn’t socialise. All I had done was get better at dealing with it or crashing after.

    So do I have anxiety? My year abroad helped me grow resilience, confidence, and enough strength to push myself in all situations, not just socialising. It helped me continue to get out of my comfort zone in less intense circumstances and overall, my thought process has shifted to: “If I could go all the way to Korea, I can do THIS”. But I still feel anxious before doing these things, I still try to find excuses not to go, and sometimes I still bail on plans.

    Anxiety comes in many different forms with many different intensities and coping mechanisms. For me, most of the time I can keep it functional and deal with the consequences afterwards. But if I can’t, I’ve realised that’s okay. There are always off-days and days where you can’t just “push yourself”, and when it gets like that, I prioritise self-care. Just as I was selfish in my plans on my year abroad, I’m selfish now with my limits and how far I’m willing to stretch them. 

    My anxiety doesn’t govern my life, but I do govern how I deal with my anxiety. Allowing myself to step back, knowing that the next time I might be able to step forward, is an empowering decision I make for myself.  

    Maybe you can relate to my experience? If you do, take a look at the resources on the No Panic website, it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for some help.

  • Foster Carer’s Mental Health

    By Sarah Anderson, FosterWiki

    1 in 4 people in the UK will experience mental health issues each year according to the NHS, foster carers are no different, and are, by nature of what they do, exposed to more risk factors that contribute to mental health issues than many, so why is foster carer’s mental health so universally unacknowledged and unsupported?


    There is no argument that the children are first and foremost and at the centre of all we do, but those who care for them may also need support with their mental health. As foster carers burn out or suffer silently from secondary traumatic stress or compassion fatigue it can directly affect the children in more ways than one, impacting on placement stability, retention of carers, and children and young people continue to be bounced around the system multiple times, further exacerbating their existing trauma.


    The truth is mental health issues do not prevent foster carers from functioning in their role, just as they do not prevent others from working, parenting or going about the normality of their day, but they do need addressing if we want better outcomes for children and young people.


    Talking about and maintaining a foster carer’s mental health should be standard, it should be normal, and it certainly should not be a taboo subject. However, many foster carers are reluctant to discuss or report any mental health issues due to fear of losing their registration and children.


    Unfortunately, ignoring foster carer’s mental health and leaving it unacknowledged does not mean that issues go away, it simply means they go underground and have wider reaching repercussions.


    Foster carers may be affected by Secondary Traumatic Stress at some time in their fostering role, many without even realising it. When a carer is in close contact or attuned to children and young people who have been traumatised, they are being exposed, often subconsciously, to the young person’s distress and trauma of past events. As a carer, this can feel exhausting and it is not uncommon for carers dealing with traumatised children to struggle with this, adding strain to their own mental health.


    Compassion fatigue in a foster carer is a term that describes the emotional and psychological impact of caring for, and helping children and young people who carry a lot of trauma. It can lead to a diminished ability to feel compassion or feel empathy for the children and young people in their care.


    Depression and anxiety can be common amongst carers, as they are exposed repeatedly to another’s subconscious trauma, disturbing stories and disclosures of traumatic events, including cruelty, abandonment, abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, substance abuse, domestic violence, trafficking and more.


    Foster carers are also encouraged to build strong loving attachments with each child or young person, to make them part of their families, part of their lives. So when a child moves on the loss and grief can be all encompassing. You would think there would be support and understanding for this, however foster carers are a low priority and are left to deal with this loss and grief alone, afraid to reach out for help less they, ironically, get labelled ‘too attached’ or ‘over emotional’.


    Projection and transference are complex psychological and psychotherapeutic terms; however, they are a very common occurrence in foster care. Simply put it means that a child or young person is unconsciously transferring their feelings about someone else onto the foster carer. In foster care, it can mean that in the absence of the birth parents the child will ‘project’ their feelings of anger, loss, frustration, confusion, grief and onto the foster carer.


    The impact of the current allegations system is something that shadows foster carers, they often live and work with the fear and anxiety of allegations as a constant backdrop, this can result in hyper-vigilance and anxiety in their own homes and daily life.


    So what do foster carers need? Firstly a safe space to discuss their mental health, feelings and emotions without fear of reprisals, plus access to adequate breaks, quality supervision and confidential counselling.


    If you are a foster carer take stock of how you are feeling and don’t minimise the impact fostering has on your mental health, do not berate yourself for not being ‘stronger’ or underestimate how you are feeling and try to soldier on.


    One of the most powerful and important yet difficult things to do is to reach out for help and talk to someone, admittedly finding the right place to do that can also be challenging as it needs to be confidential, however fostering services must also recognise how important it is for placement stability and outcomes for children to protect their foster carers mental health.

    No Panic can provide confidential support to foster carers experiencing anxiety. If you are a foster carer struggling with anxiety, please phone our helpline on 0300 7729844. Open every day 10am-10pm.

  • Anxious and Autistic

    By Kaye Inglis, Writer.

    Long before I knew I was autistic, I knew I was a very anxious person. Much of this anxiety I could trace back to my parents moving house – from the idyllic Isle of Skye where I was born to a small town in rural Perthshire – when I was six years old. 

    My early years were spent playing in and exploring the breathtaking landscape of the Hebrides, with only a handful of other children of similar age, and just two close friends. I also spent a great deal of time content in my own company; raised in a creative, writing, and storytelling family I was never bored or lonely with my imagination and pets for company.

    Much later in life I was to realise that this contentment in solitude was a common trait in many autistic people. Moving to a new town, a vastly different environment and a much bigger school was daunting to say the least. It is here that I remember my first experience of anxiety attacks, recorded in my mum’s diary at the time as feeling “a bit of me is wobbling” – a young child’s way of describing a racing heart that I could feel in my chest.

    Of course, relocating is likely to cause some anxiety for anyone of any age, autistic or not. It’s a natural response to different, alien situations and circumstances. The feeling of not fitting in is common to most people at first. However, for an autistic person fear of sticking out can pervade all aspects of life and be a cause of constant worry, which is exhausting to deal with whether adult or child.

    As a child I quickly learned and accepted that not everyone I met would be as into my passions as I was – various fascinations included fish, space, horses, and ghosts. This didn’t bother me; I was more than happy playing or reading on my own and found other children’s games frequently bored me. However, as my teenage years approached and another school change to secondary education moved my grounding parameters once more, the feeling of “otherness” and desperate desire not to stick out increased further, at times causing me to miss classes, hobbled by physical symptoms of panic attacks and a general air of dread about not fitting in, being outed as “different” or “weird”.

    The National Autistic Society reports that between 40 and 50 per cent of people with autism experience a clinical diagnosis of anxiety about fitting in in situations from work and education to leisure, hobbies, and relationships. I didn’t find out I was autistic until well into my adult years, prompted to seek answers after realising my dad – who also suffered severe social anxiety – had many autistic traits, though he was never officially diagnosed. This encouraged me to explore my own experiences with the help of medical professionals.

    Over time, I learned that my anxiety triggers included much more than not fitting in to social groups or situations. One of my biggest triggers was a fear of being laughed at, of being seen to be no good at something other people could do, which in turn made me wary of trying new things unless I had the chance to perfect them on my own. Sensory overload – in particular loud or repetitive noise, strong smells, and having other, unknown people in my personal space – also played a role. Not just the physical and mental effect of beingoverstimulated, but also fear of what might happen should the stimuli cause me to have a meltdown. Again, this is a common anxiety for those on the autism spectrum.

    Improvising through life

    What helps an autistic person cope with and manage such anxieties will vary from person to person, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Mindfulness, counselling, CBT and medication are just some of the tools I and my autistic friends have found helpful to lessen anxiety. Speaking with a doctor or counsellor who specialises in autism is a good place to start. Often, help coping will come from a combination of many different things. For myself, I found some helpful skills in what may be considered a slightly strange environment: improvised comedy. Growing up in the 1990s, I was a huge fan of the out-of-the-box thinking on the comedy show “Whose Line is it Anyway?” A couple of decades later, having moved to Bournemouth for work and not knowing many people, I mustered up the courage to look for some new hobbies where I might meet like-minded folk. An advert for an improvised comedy for fun group immediately caught my eye and, after a couple of weeks working up the courage I emailed the group organiser and went along for a trial session, reasoning I could just leave if I didn’t like it.

    As it turned out, I loved it. The people in the group were friendly and many in a similar situation to myself. Over a few months our improvising for fun turned into performing our own improv shows around the Bournemouth and Dorset area. I soon began to realise that my class skills could be used in real life, improvising through situations that used to terrify me. Autism and the anxiety that surrounds it often require masking, which in a strange way I found helpful in improv.  The “yes and” ethos of improvised comedy in turn helped me to mask a little less and deal better with situations that took me out of my comfort zone. Though I still experiences challenges with the anxiety surrounding my autism, I feel more equipped to cope improvising my way through the “real” world.

  • Resilience and Bravery in OCD and Anxiety Recovery

    By Meg Pound, Content Team Contributor

    Mental illness is tough. Hugely difficult. One of the hardest parts of my days is getting up in the morning. The realisation that it is another day of battling compulsions and intrusive thoughts. I feel drained before I have gotten out of bed. It is the fear of the unknown. Is it going to be another day of feeling this way? Will I ever feel better? 

    I like to remind myself of one powerful fact.

    I have survived every single bad day of my life.

    I have done that. 

    I have gotten through the very worst times that I never thought I would. For example, I went on holiday last August and was 90% convinced I was going to die. Even in the darkest pits of fear and anxiety, I still had that 10% glimmer of possibility that I could survive it. OCD and anxiety thrive on the ‘What if’. ‘But what if the bad thing happens this time’. We have to remind ourselves of all of the times we have proven OCD and anxiety wrong. We are much more resilient than we think we are. 

    Reflection upon the events we never thought we’d survive is a powerful thing to do to gain back control. We can overcome the fear and come through the other side shining.

    I feel anxious about writing this article. ‘What if’ nobody believes me, ‘What if’ something bad happens once this is published. But I also know that I wouldn’t be able to prove OCD and anxiety wrong if I did what they said. I write these articles because I want to raise awareness and help people reading them feel less alone. Something else that is important to me is acknowledging my resilience and bravery for writing about my experiences. I would never have dreamed of doing something like this a year or so ago. It is vulnerable but honest. If we don’t talk about our experiences then people will continue to suffer in silence. I hope I can inspire people to feel brave and resilient alongside their mental illness. It doesn’t define us. We are so much more than our struggles. Sending all my recovery wishes to everyone.

  • Exam Stress

    By Chaima Kenache, Content Team Contributor

    Exam stress is one of the few anxiety inducing events that the majority of people can relate to regardless of who they are. For a moment, consider the average GCSE student in the UK, juggling the demands of studying 8-10 subjects five days a week, with the supposed restful two days often consumed by revision and upcoming exam preparation. The pressing question emerges: when do these developing minds find respite? How can stress and anxiety not take hold when faced with an unending stream of impending deadlines? A staggering 66% of children openly express feeling most stressed about homework, assignments, and exams, and unfortunately the number continues to increase. Children often internalise this false belief system that their self-worth is intricately tied to their academic accomplishments and anything below the unwritten standard they’ve set for themselves is considered a “failure” or just a result of “stupidity”. The cycle of keeping up with academics, not because it intrigues, but because of the mental consequences of failing or falling behind is both unhealthy and dangerous. No child should feel tied down because of a number on a page,  no child should feel the need to place academic validation above their personal wellbeing and mental health. However, unfortunately, a lot of teenagers do feel this way, and conditional love is a key reason for this. Teenagers who perceive their parents’ affection is contingent upon academic performance are more likely to succumb to these stressing standards to not only avoid disappointing their family members, but also to prove their ‘worth’ to themselves, further intensifying the anxiety and fear of failure that they already had.   

    Luckily, there are ways to combat this issue. Firstly, parents should always promote the importance of good wellbeing and show love towards their children regardless of their successes or failures. One effective way for parents to assist their children in addressing mental health challenges is by acquiring knowledge on the subject. Actively participating in support groups and engaging with organisations dedicated to raising awareness about mental health equips parents with valuable tools. This knowledge not only empowers them to support their children during times of mental health struggles but also enables them to recognise early signs, allowing for timely intervention and the provision of essential support. Secondly, the use of mindfulness and relaxation techniques are powerful tools when tackling exam-related stress. Techniques such as keeping up with good exercise and knowing when to step away from work to engage in a more fun and alleviating activity are crucial to maintaining a healthy balance. Furthermore, procrastination and poor time management is also a key issue that magnifies anxiety during this period. To reduce this, students should break down study materials into shorter, more cohesive chunks of revision,  over an extended period of time. Alongside this, setting realistic goals with maintaining a consistent study schedule can help students stay organised and reduce the last-minute cramming that often contributes to anxiety. To reduce feeling of anxiety because of this expectation to not fail and therefore disappoint, it’s essential for students to recognise that exams are just one aspect of their academic journey, and that their value extends and isn’t based on just one test. However, teenagers sometimes can’t do it alone, seeking support from peers, family, or educators can provide valuable perspectives and reassurance. Moreover, sharing concerns and discussing study strategies can create a supportive network that diminishes the isolating effects of exam anxiety.

    Navigating exams, particularly for teenagers, can be highly stressful. Effective strategies to reduce anxiety include mastering time management, incorporating relaxation techniques, employing ‘chunking’ or information grouping methods, and seeking a non-judgemental outsider to listen and advise you when you need it. This provides a student with a nuanced and composed state of mind, which not only decreases the possibility of them catastrophizing everything causing them into a ‘mind blank’ before the exam, but also allows students to feel settled, removing anxiety around exams in the future.   

    Young people who are struggling to deal with anxiety around exams can get support by emailing youth@nopanic.org.uk.

  • Anxiety and Exercise

    Fiona Gee, Content Team Contributor

    The positive link between exercise and improved mental health has long been established and for some, doing regular exercise is now a critical part of their mental self-care. The release of endorphins is scientifically proven, after all. 

    However, particularly if you have never done any exercise and don’t know where to start (or if you struggle with it for physical or other reasons) being told ‘just do some exercise’to improve your mental health can be as glib a statement as saying to someone with anxiety ‘don’t worry’ (probably the singular worst thing to say to an anxiety sufferer, right?)

    I have read many an article from people frustrated with being told to ‘just do some exercise’ because like most things related to mental health, it is not a quick fix. However, as others on this blog have observed, anxiety can often be about good and bad days – and while exercise is never going to just ‘cure’anxiety, it can help turn a bad day into a better day and/or over time, provide a change in routine that ultimately offers longer-term benefits to both mental and physical health. 

    My own experience has seen me go from a fairly sedentary lifestyle up to around ten years ago to a much more active lifestyle now with exercise embedded into my daily routine. 

    Full disclosure: my lifestyle change was not driven by my mental health. I’ve had orthopaedic issues all of my life and following surgery eight years ago which finally corrected them, I was advised that the bare minimum of 30 minutes cycling per day was needed to keep everything in check. Since then, I’ve worked with a physio to go beyond that bare minimum and finally turn around my orthopaedic health.

    The improvement in my mental health is, I would say, an added and welcome bonus. I still suffer from anxiety – but actually, I have found that exercising often provides an outlet for processing anxious thoughts. It sometimes even drives me to pedal faster or work harder – largely because I know there will come a point in proceedings whereby my body is working so hard that my brain doesn’t have room for the anxious thoughts anymore – and guess what, I feel less anxious afterwards as a result.

    While some readers may now be persuaded, I realise many people may still feel ‘well that’s nice for you but I’m still unsure where to start and/or still have physical issues that make it harder for me to start’. First, all the exercise progress I have made has been under the watchful eye of a physio – so if you are struggling physically but want to explore what options you have, consult a medical professional. The chances are, there will be something you can do and you may even surprise yourself in this respect. Don’t underestimate the difference that eg a simple exercise (like walking) can have (I also find a long walk is a great way of processing thoughts). 

    Secondly, the NHS has an entire page dedicated to exercise. This page also includes guidance on the Couch to 5K programme for those who want to take up running.

    For those who are financially able, joining a gym is also an option (though I realise can be a scary prospect). You don’t necessarily need to join a gym to exercise though; the vast majority of the work I do is done at home and as long as you have some idea of an exercise technique (which might simply be gleaned from the NHS website), there is plenty you can do at home. Even going up and down stairs several time counts.

    For those who want to join a gym but are scared by the prospect, starting with simple, home-based exercise can build up confidence. I do a limited amount of gym work and felt very self-conscious at first, but soon realised that everyone felt like this and that also, most people focused on their own routines and were not paying the slightest attention to mine (and nor was I to theirs).

    And finally, remember – there are no hard and fast rules. Try stuff; do what works for you.

  • How Suffering with Anxiety Can Lead to Mental Exhaustion

    What causes mental exhaustion?

    Mental exhaustion can occur when your brain is overworked without getting the vital rest it needs to recuperate. This can be through too much concentration, stimulation or overthinking for an excessive period. 

    Symptoms of mental exhaustion can include

    Finding it difficult to concentrate

    Lack of enthusiasm for the things you used to enjoy

    Feeling depressed and down

    Social withdrawal

    Feeling irritable and impatient 

    Lack of confidence 

    Feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks

    Feeling foggy-headed

    Disturbed sleep

    Why do people who suffer from anxiety often become mentally worn out?

    The reason anxiety sufferers often become mentally fatigued is because they spend so much time worrying and obsessing about their condition. Their attention is constantly turned inward towards how they are feeling while at the same time desperately trying to figure a way out of their predicament. 

    They may spend hours scouting the internet, reading books, searching through forums or their own mind looking for answers while worrying about the effect it is having on them and those around them. They may also use immense mental energy in an attempt to appear normal to others while trying to keep on top of their commitments.

    Unfortunately, due to all this extra brain activity, they begin to feel worse so they worry and obsess even more which only leads to a continued search for solutions. They become more introspective than ever and so enter into a never-ending cycle that only fatigues them further. The irony is that they are creating so much of their suffering by attempting to get out of it. 

    The brain is an organ and, just like any limb, will show signs of exhaustion when overused. The suffering you feel is your body’s way of telling you to stop, that this approach is not working. It is like trying to run on a broken leg in an attempt to heal it and wondering why your suffering increases.

    A lot of anxiety sufferers hear the phrase allowing/accepting as a way out but don’t always understand the true meaningbehind it. When it comes to mental exhaustion, the obvious answer is to stop trying to feel better so you no longer exhaust yourself and no longer add another layer of suffering on top. This means accepting your current state and no longer tryingto feel any different than you do. This will cut down the brain work immensely and allow your brain to get the rest it so needs to heal itself.

    Of course, due to what you have put yourself through previously, you will still feel mentally exhausted for a while,but now you have finally broken the loop you found yourself in. Recovery is something that will come to you in time, therewas never something you had to do to achieve it. Clarity will appear all by itself, the sadness will lift, you will be less irritable, life will feel less overwhelming and you will have the energy and motivation you always wanted. Not through trying to find a solution but through no longer trying to find a solution. 

    So much suffering is self-created and recovery comes through seeing this. It comes through knowledge and understanding so we no longer create the suffering we are so desperately trying to escape from. 

    Alongside the advice above there are many practical things you can do to cut down on mental exhaustion:

    • Spending more time outdoors and less time sitting at home brooding about how you feel

    • Cutting down on social media or watching negative stories on the media

    • Learning to say no to too many demands at work or outside of it

    • Practice self-care and no longer attempt to numb your feelings through overeating, drugs or alcohol

    • Letting go of toxic people that drain your energy 

    • Prioritise rest and take time outs when needed

    • Taking up new hobbies or interests that energise you

    • Don’t try and think your way out of how you are feeling, learn to live alongside any discomfort you may be experiencing

    As you can see the advice is always about cutting down on introspecting and overthinking, giving your brain the rest thatit needs to recuperate while putting no more demands on it to solve your life or internal state. The brain can then recharge its batteries and regain its clarity. This will enable you to feel more internal peace and move towards regaining your former self so that life feels far more enjoyable and less demanding.

    Paul David is the author of At Last a Life.

  • ”When in Doubt … Keep Believing”

    By Craig Soutar, Content Team Contributor

    It is common when discussing an anxiety disorder to discuss physical symptoms such as panic attacks, nausea, dizziness etc or mental symptoms like feelings of dread. These are the harder hitting, more obviously signs of anxiety, but a more subtle, less discussed part of the condition is doubt. 

    Doubt is defined as “a feeling of not being certain about something, especially how good or true it is” (Cambridge dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/doubt). Doubt is common in all anxiety disorders and especially prevalent in Generalised Anxiety Disorder GAD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). 

    What are some common examples of doubt in anxiety disorders?

    You may recognise doubt in some of the bigger aspects of anxiety, but it can be worth checking in and seeing if doubt is seeping into many more subtle aspects of your life. Here’s a few common ways doubt crops up:

    I don’t think this is anxiety

    It’s likely at some point you’ve been convinced you were having a heart attack, or going mad, or maybe you think you have cancer, the possibilities are endless. Many times you’ll be told you are fine, but you continue to doubt it, even when weeks or months later, none of them came true, you are still capable of doubting it. 

    I don’t think what I am doing for my anxiety is making any difference

    There are so many recommendations out there on how to improve your anxiety and as anxiety is not like a broken leg, it is almost impossible to get 100% certainty on any of them. So, you might find yourself wondering, are these breathing exercises really working, is exercise helping me or is it making my anxiety worse, or I don’t know if medication is good or bad for me?

    I don’t think I will ever get better

    There are no miracle cures for anxiety. Achieving a better life is a journey and that means time and with it, difficult spells. It is common for people experiencing difficult spells to assume they are on the wrong path. The strategies last week you were convinced were working are now worthless and you have it all wrong. Even if you are doing well, a well-intended new technique online may have you questioning everything you are doing again.

    I don’t know if this is my purpose anymore

    When life is bouncing along it is easier to feel committed to your path and your purpose. Once the anxious state is in place and doubt has crept in, your view on your life purpose is just as susceptible to doubt as what you should have for your breakfast. You may find yourself doubting if you are in the right job or relationship, or studying the right topic.  

    Why does doubt arise in an anxiety disorder?

    Firstly, ask yourself, is doubt really that unique to anxiety sufferers. Most people know those who tend to doubt themselves or choices they are making, even though you wouldn’t consider them highly anxious. Quite simply it is part of our evolved brains to consider and challenge our choices. It is all well intended with the purpose of keeping you safe. 

    The reason doubt feels so much more problematic in a person with a triggered nervous system is that the doubts will be fuelled by adrenalin and cortisol and therefore commonly accompanied with unpleasant physical sensations. These in turn are taken as clear signs that we have a big problem to address and then of course the stakes of making the right choice suddenly feel so much higher. 

    I’ve talked about life purpose and relationships, but have you ever noticed that when anxious, even simple things that seemed easy are now incredibly difficult – what product to buy at the supermarket, which television program to watch. Quite simply it’s the same process going on in a healthy person but fuelled by your triggered nervous system. 

    I recognise the doubt, but what can I do about it?

    First of all, do not treat this as an emergency. You have dealt with anxiety and whilst it is uncomfortable, your are proof that you can continue on. Don’t add fuel to the fire by proclaiming ‘oh no I am doubting everything I can’t possibly cope’.

    Secondly, a thought is only ever a thought. That is going to sound annoying given these thoughts are plaguing you, but consider it for a moment, does having a thought mean that the thought is true?

    I strongly recommend taking a step back and considering, maybe now is not the time to listen to these strong feelings, maybe for now it is enough to continue with my good practices and let time pass, knowing it will settle as my nervous system does. Consider the following tools:

    Take action

    What is the number 1 worst activity for doubt? Answer. Rumination (https://nopanic.org.uk/thinking-too-much/). 

    When you are ruminating and not taking action, you are stuck. Your thoughts are infinite and you will find 100% certainty. So often the best thing you can do is quite simply ‘take action’. It may not be the best action, it may even not turn out as you wanted, but you’ll have moved forward and you’ll have learned. 

    Journalling

    As we said, the mind can invent infinite scenarios. The more you try and handle them all in your mind, the more tired and stressed your mind will become and so the cycle continues. Getting those thoughts out of your mind gives you a chance to step aside from them. 

    In the case of journalling, the process of writing your thoughts has itself been shown to have a therapeutic effect. In seeing your thoughts, sometimes it is also much easier to see them for what they are, thoughts. Many people on seeing their thoughts on paper will laugh or realise how unlikely the scenario they’ve come up with is. Read this useful article on the no panic website to tell you more: https://nopanic.org.uk/journalling-and-why-it-is-good-for-you/

    Talking

    Along similar lines to journalling, talking your thoughts out loud often disempowers them and gives you a chance to see them more clearly. Talking takes many forms as well, so whilst formal therapy is great, it can often be helpful to talk your thoughts through with a friend or loved one and in some instances, even finding a private space and saying your thoughts out loud to yourself is beneficial. Don’t forget the nopanic helpline is available 10am – 10pm 7 days a week if you’d like to practice talking to somebody who will listen. 

    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

    Many people look to CBT to ‘fix’ or ‘cure’ them and in many instances, it has such a dramatic effect. However, on base level, CBT is equipping you with a valuable skill. In learning CBT, you learn ways to see your doubts differently and challenge them in different ways. CBT is at the core of the 1-1 mentoring service which No Panic provides, so if you cannot get access to a therapist easily, consider using that service in the short term.

    Unfortunately, as with many other frustrating symptoms of anxiety, doubt is likely to come up, so don’t let it surprise your or frustrate you. Noticing it can really help in empowering you to act, despite that doubt. So whether you are just starting out, or have been trying to recover for some time, there is no better time to recommit to the practices you have been learning and when doubt creeps in, keep believing and keep stepping forward.

  • “And How Does That Make You Feel?”

    My Personal and Professional Journey Through Anxiety Therapy”

    By Joshua Fletcher

    Hi, I’m Joshua Fletcher, also known as @anxietyjosh on social media. I want to share with you my journey, which inspired my latest book, “And How Does That Make You Feel? Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Therapy.” My story began in 2012 with a diagnosis of panic disorder and OCD. It was a tough time, filled with anxiety, fear of panic symptoms like feeling detached from myself and my surroundings, obsessing over my heartbeat, and avoiding places for fear of a panic attack, or the associated thoughts and fears that come with it like losing control in some way.

    Fast forward to today, and my life has transformed. My panic attacks are rare, and when they do happen, they don’t scare me anymore. I’ve learned not to obsess over every sensation or thought. My experience led me to become a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety disorders, and I’ve also completed a master’s in counselling and psychology. Plus, I’ve written several best-selling self-help books on anxiety.

    My upcoming book is something I’m really passionate about. It’s not just a self-help guide; it’s an insight into what it’s like to be an anxiety therapist who has experienced anxiety firsthand. It’s a book about being an anxiety therapist, and lets the reader take a look behind the scenes of what is a profession often shrouded in mystery.

    In “And How Does That Make You Feel?”, you’ll meet four characters, each with their own struggles:

    1. Daphne, a Hollywood actress dealing with identity issues and nighttime panic attacks.

    2. Levi, a nightclub doorman fighting intrusive thoughts.

    3. Zahra, a GP who struggles with driving anxiety and the shame of panic.

    4. Noah, who finds socializing difficult and carries a secret he fears sharing in therapy.

    These stories represent the real challenges faced by people with anxiety, brought to life through anonymized characters. The book gives an inside look at how I approach therapy with each of them. You’ll get a glimpse into the various thoughts and perspectives that run through my mind during sessions – from anxious thoughts to compassionate and critical analyses.

    The book is also filled with informative content about anxiety – its causes, how to manage it, and what effective therapy looks like. I do this by including psychoeducation that is interspersed throughout the book. It’s about understanding the therapy world, especially from the viewpoint of someone who’s been on both sides of the therapeutic process.

    For example, like Zahra, I had driving anxiety. I use my personal experiences and professional training to help her and many others who come to me with a variety of challenges. The book covers topics like exposure therapy and the importance of understanding your own body and mind.

    I wrote this book to resonate with those who have experienced anxiety, to make them feel seen and understood. It’s also for people who might not know what living with anxiety is like. The book is engaging and aims to enlighten readers about anxiety disorders and the stigma around mental health.

    My friends and publisher have praised the book, describing it as a perfect mix of an engaging narrative with valuable insights into anxiety. It has been described as “stealth-help” which I am delighted with. It’s meant to help readers empathize with those who struggle with anxiety disorders. I also discuss the concept of emotional conservatism in the book, emphasizing that those who face anxiety are not weak. They are incredibly brave for confronting their fears daily.

    “And How Does That Make You Feel?” is a tribute to outstanding therapists and everyone battling anxiety. It’s about finding hope, experiencing joy, and showing that there’s always a path out of panic and anxiety. I’m excited for you to read it and join me on this journey. It’s a significant achievement for me, and I hope you find as much joy in reading it as I did in writing it.

    Click here to preorder “And How Does That Make You Feel”.

  • Teach A Person To Fish

    After ignoring an increasing number of panic attacks for over a year, Leicestershire writer Stewart Bint suffered a major mental health breakdown in 1997 which led to him being hospitalised for ten weeks, and sectioned for 28 days.

    By Stewart Bint

    Please don’t make the same mistake I did. I thought I could fight panic attacks myself. After all, they were all in my mind, weren’t they? Couldn’t hurt me.  

    During those early days of my condition, I felt as if I were in an ocean.  Some days I was calm, serene, and floating. Other days I was panicking, anxious, and drowning.

    Looking back, I can see they were all the classic symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks,  but things were different in those days of more than quarter of a century ago.  Poor mental health was the skeleton in the cupboard back then, particularly for men. Taboo. Unmentionable. So I brushed it under the carpet. Again, and again, and again, where it festered. Until the bulge grew into depression and full-blown psychosis, and burst through the weakened fabric of my mind, and I was seriously torn and damaged. 

    My counsellor originally admitted me to a Priory psychiatric clinic as a voluntary patient for stress and depression brought on by a year of neglecting constant anxiety and regular panic attacks. 

    Initially, things got worse, and I was duly sectioned for 28 days.  But because of the severity of my condition and my increasingly bizarre behaviour I was also “specialed,” meaning a nurse was assigned to never be more than a few feet from me, around the clock.

    To this day I have no memory of those first 14 days or so of being sectioned. When the fog did start to lift I demanded to be taken home immediately. The doctors had to explain again about me being sectioned and what it meant, as I could not remember having been told.

    My family wondered if I’d ever leave hospital. But I managed to rebuild my life from those dark days, and today I’m a successful novelist and magazine columnist, and  retired a couple of years ago from my role as global Public Relations specialist for one of the world’s leading hi-tech industrial software developers.

    So, how did I come through it? How did a tiny spec of light gradually dispel the darkness?   

    Three aspects helped put it in the past. First: Acknowledging I had a problem, and seeking help. Second: Drawing up coping strategies. Third: There’s an old saying: “Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person how to fish and they feed themselves for life.” The same is true of constantly implementing these strategies until they become second nature. 

    Daily sessions were held with a senior psychiatrist, and gradually the anxiety and panic was held in check. I was developing the weapons to fight the anxiety, the depression, the psychosis, and overthrow the waves of bad, negative thoughts that had been invading my mind for so long.

    Before my diagnosis I’d been an overly ambitious perfectionist, keen to please everyone and get everything absolutely spot on, and I’d become increasingly anxious that my work wasn’t going to be perfect.

    But I started learning how to create effective coping strategies that actually changed my whole outlook on life. No longer did I wake up every morning and immediately curl up in a ball, cursing the fact that I was alive. I woke up looking forward to what the day would bring and taking another small, tottering step towards getting my life back.

    During my treatment it was found I had repressed bad memories from my childhood. It was also discovered I had an inferiority complex. All that had combined subconsciously to bring on anxiety and powerful panic attacks. With all that out in the open, I was on the way to recovery. And once I was discharged, my coping strategy became all about casting off the things I no longer needed in my life, including corporate success and the stress that comes with it. I returned to my first love of writing, and became a novelist and have my own column in a local monthly magazine.

    To me, coping strategies are highly personal, and you need one for every situation that can cause difficulty. For example, I realised that if I were to continue seeking perfection in my work and myself, I was destined to fail, and in all probability would face an even longer spell as a hospital in-patient.  So my coping strategy for that was to accept compromise, both from myself and other people.

    Whenever a deadline approaches I ask myself what is the worst that can happen if I don’t meet it? Occasionally I have needed to burn the midnight oil, but in the olden days it was a daily occurrence. Now when I miss deadlines no-one worries. Least of all me. No anxiety. No panic attacks. 

    In total, I was in the clinic for around ten weeks before being discharged into a care-in-the-community programme. Apart from one minor relapse, the coping strategies I learned during that time have been successful, and I’m grateful to have been able to rebuild my life with new, stronger, firmer foundations.

    I’ll end as I began – please don’t make the same mistake I did. Seek professional help to overcome anxiety and panic attacks. Control them. Don’t let them control you.